Difference between Small CA firm and Big Four

Small CA Firm: I will drive the car from point A to point B. Fee: Rs 500

Big 4: We will take charge of front seat, handle the steering, shift gear simultaneously using clutch and accelerator to increase, decrease or control speed and apply breaks wherever necessary. Yes in addition to ensure clearly visibility in darker times we will switch on the head lights and wiper when raining. We will ensure that our all actions complies with local laws such as understanding signal and gesture protocols of traffic cops and seat belt application.

Fees: Rs 5000

Disclaimer: We don't undertake responsibility of you reaching the destination as the same is subject to directions given by you.

Knowledge Sharing

There was this robbery in Guangzhou, the robber shouted to everyone "All don't move, money belongs to the state, life belongs to you."  Everyone in the bank lie down quietly.  

This is called "Mind Changing Concept - Changing the conventional way of thinking"

 

One lady lay on the table provocatively, and the robber shouted at her "Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"  

This is called "Being Professional --Focus only on what you are trained to do!"

 

When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (with only primary school edu), "Big bro, let's count how much we got", the older robber rebutted and say" U  stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!".  

This is called "Experience --nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications".

 

After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly.  The supervisor says " wait, wait wait, let's put the 5 mil RMB we embezzled into the amount the robbers robbed".  

This is called "Swim with the tide --converting an unfavorable situation into your advantage !"

 

The supervisor says " it will be good there will be a robbery every month".

This is called "Killing Boredom --Happiness is most important"

 

Next day the TV reported 100 mil was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted but had only 20 mil.  The robbers were very angry and said," we risked our lives and only took 20 mil, the bank manager took 80 mil with a snap of his finger.  It looks like it is better to be educated to be able to do this!"  

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold !"

 

The bank manger was smiling and happy because his loss in the CINOPEC shares were also now absorbed in this robbery.  

This is called "Seizing the opportunity --daring to take risk!"

Do bosses know their staff?

Staff Opinion

Resignation

Job Inc

Hard Work & Promotion

Managers & Staff

Promote Me...

CEO

Corporate Scenes

Financial Management

A beggar found Rs.100 

He went to 5 star hotel for dinner. Bill was Rs.3000 

Manager handed him to police.

He gave Rs.100 to police and got himself free.


Case Study for FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT without MBA. 

Donkey or Dog

Read this...and decide who is intelligent- Donkey or the DOG... Read and think-You may find one in your midst There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason. Moral of the story "One must not engage in duties other than his own" Now take a new look at the same story... The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fund as of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations). Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ...!!!! Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.

Dilbert Quote Contest

A magazine recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes' contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:

'As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.' (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA)

'What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.' (Lykes Lines Shipping)

'E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.' (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

'This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.' (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

'Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.'(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

'No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.' (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp)

Quote from the Boss: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.' (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,'That would be better for me.'(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

'We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.' (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Negotiation

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?


Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!