Things Aren't Always as They Seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied..."Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way you think they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.

"Things aren't always what they seem."

The Manager

The manager of a large corporation suffers a heart attack and the doctor tells him to go to a farm to relax. The guy goes to a farm, and after a couple of days he is very bored, so he asks the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer tells him to clean up all the cow manure. The farmer thought that for somebody coming from the city, working his whole life sitting in a plush office, it will take him over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finishes the job in less than a day.

The next day the farmer gives to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer is sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes. At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes are still empty.

The farmer asks the manager: "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first 2 days, and you cannot do this simple job?"

The manager answered:

"Listen, all my life I've been cutting heads and dealing with crap, but now you ask me to take decisions!"

Political Parties & their symbols

Political parties match their symbols ...

Q: Why is the Samajwadi Party's symbol 'Cycle'?
A: Because after a ban on English and use of computers, that's all we'll be able to afford

Q: Why is the Congress party's symbol 'Hand'?
A: To remind Indians that our fate is forever in the hand of one family

Q: Why is BJP Symbol 'Lotus'?
A: Lotus is the symbol of Sarawasti and learning. BJP will educate us through the wisdom of Varun Gandhi and Pravin Togadia.

Q: Why is Mayawati's symbol 'Elephant'?
A: It's a self portrait.

Q: Why is Jayalalitha's symbol 'Two leaves'?
A: Because that's what remained after Amma ate up all the fruit

Q: Why is DMK's symbol 'Sun'?
A: So that Karunanidhi can justify wearing shades indoors

Q: Why is Lalu's symbol 'Lantern'?
A: Because there's no electricity in Bihar

Q: Why is CPM's symbol 'Hammer and Sickle'?
A: Because that's what you will be using if they come to power

Q: Why is Sharad Pawar's symbol 'Clock'?
A: Because his time never seems to come

Q: Why is Shiv Sena's symbol 'Bow and Arrow'?
A: I can tell you, but then I'll have to shoot you

Banana Test

There was a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by.

They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . ... Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?






















Now scroll down to see the analysis.

If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.

Chimpanzee = you're a moron.

Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.

You should take some time off and relax!

Can Socialism Suceed ?- A test

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that?

Crazy English Language

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.

But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

Mother in law

Mother-in law and her daughter-in-law are in the room. Mother-in-law was sitting on a sofa, she called her daughter-in-law to sit with her.

Daugther-in-law : Oh! How can i sit with u ? I would like to remain beneath u. So, i'll sit on the carpet of the floor.

Mother-in-law : Oh! then, what will u do if i sat on carpet ?

Daughter-in-law : Then I'll sit on the floor.

Mother-in-law : Again, if i sit on the floor then what will u do ?

Daughter-in-law : Then, i'll dig a pit and sit in it.

Mother-in-law (Still arguing) : If so, what will u do if i sit in that pit ?

Daughter-in-law (being very furious but with sweet tone) : Then Mama, I'll cover the pit and get rid of u..............

You have arrived in life...

When your Family considers you a Friend...

and

when your Friends supports you as Family...

Financial crisis explained‏

The financial crisis explained in simple terms:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts. Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better,
stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %. The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties. The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied against the non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation you can understand . . .

What baby are you?

January

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

February

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves Freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves Aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends But rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
Inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

March

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and Reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous And sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up Feelings. Observant and assesses others.

April

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very tal kat ive. Calm and cool. Kind and Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does Work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good Memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look For information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or Make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and Others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and Travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and Highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation... Shy towards opposite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to Dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good Imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves Literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike Being at home.. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

June

You've got the best personality and are an Absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make New friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt And more than likely have an a very attractive Partner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likely That you have a massive record collection. You Have a great choice in films, and may one day Become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, You've got the looks for it!!!

July

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily Consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's Feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive And forms impressions carefully. Caring and Loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of Sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people Through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be with friends Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for Friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive Unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt But takes long to recover.

August

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention, no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone", longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn... curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

September

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

October

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

November

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

December

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay... Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Tal kat ive. Daydreamer.Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.