As I began to love myself - by Charlie Chaplin

"As I began to love myself - by Charlie Chaplin 16 April 1959. ".

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today I call it "RESPECT".

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it "Maturity".

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time,and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it "SIMPLICITY".

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations,
and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it. "FULFILLMENT".

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection "WISDOM OF THE HEART".

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS "LIFE"!

The case against Lord Krishna

A nun in Warsaw, Poland, filed a case against ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness). The case came up in court. The nun remarked that ISKCON was spreading its activities and gaining followers in Poland. She wanted ISKCON banned because its followers were glorifying a character called Krishna “who had loose morals,having married 16,000 women called Gopikas.

The ISKCON defendant to the Judge: “Please ask the nun to repeat the oath she took when she was ordained as a nun.”

The Judge asked the nun to recite the oath loudly. She would not.

The ISKCON man asked whether he could read out the oath for the nun. "Go ahead," said the judge.

The oath said in effect that 'she (the nun) is married to Jesus Christ'.

The ISKCON man said, "Your Lordship! Lord Krishna is alleged to have 'married' 16,000 women. There are more than a million nuns who assert that they are married to Jesus Christ. Between the two, Krishna and the nuns, who has a loose character?”

The case was dismissed…

ONLY

Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence:
"I hit him in the eye yesterday."

The word is "ONLY".

The Message:
1.ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did.)
2.I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him.)
3.I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others.)
4.I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye.)
5.I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs.)
6.I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye..)
7.I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today.)
8.I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today.)

This is the beauty and complexity of the English language. 

Give Your Best to Relationship

A boy and a girl were playing together.The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.
 
The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. 
 
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
 
That night, girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
 

Moral of the story:

If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, always keep doubting  if the other person has given his/her hundred percent..
 
This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

Criticism and Correction

Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills.

He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below aboard which read -"I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."

While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master's place and burst into tears.

This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying"I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely. I feel like dying"

Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt flawless painting. Do as I say without questioning it. It WILL work."

Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

"Come with me." master said.

They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."

Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!

Moral of the story:

"It is easier to criticize, but DIFFICULT TO CORRECT !"

So don't get carried away or judge yourself by someone else's criticism and feel depressed...

JUDGE YOURSELF! YOU ARE YOUR BEST JUDGE.  

Capitalist or Socialist?

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.

Like so many others her age group in college, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a typical liberal professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the capitalist side of the fence."

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between capitalist and socialist or progressive or neocon I'm all ears. If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a capitalist doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a socialist doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a capitalist is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a socialist is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a capitalist is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a socialist is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a capitalist is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A socialist wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a capitalist doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Socialist demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a capitalist is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A socialist non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a capitalist decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A socialist demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a capitalist reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A socialist will delete it because he's "offended".

The Lion the Dragon the Rats and the honey

"Somebody asked Mavlana Jalaluddin Rumi about the reality of life.

He narrated a story as follows.

The example of life is like a man is walking in a Jungle. He notices that a lion is following him. He runs and runs and when gets tired he sees a hole on the ground. He decides to hide into the Hole but finds a dragon inside. He looks up and holds the branch of a tree and climbs over the Tree. When he looks beneath he notices that two rats, one Black and one White are quickly biting the root of the Tree. He worries that the tree will soon fall and he will become prey of the Lion and the Dragon waiting down there.
He then looks up and there finds a bees-hive on the top of a branch above him.
He begins to drink Honey and keep busy in drinking and enjoying from it and forgets completely about the Lion, the Dragon and the two Rats cutting the Tree's root.
In the meantime the Tree's root is removed and the Tree falls. The Lion ripped his body and dumped him into the hole. The Dragon then ate him.

Molana explained that in this story the Jungle is the life of this World.
The Lion is Death which is following man.
The Hole is grave which is ahead of him.
The Dragon is the bad deeds which meet him in the grave.
The two rats are Day and Night.
The Tree is Time (or Age) which is running out quickly.
And Honey is the enjoyment and attractions of this worldly life which make a person forget that one day he is accountable for his actions and forget about his end and the death suddenly gets him."

Be Careful What You Wish For

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits down, the waitress comes over and asks for their order.

The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man. “Same for me,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “That will be $12.62.” Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. 

“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?” 

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there.” 

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!” 

“That’s right! Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?” 

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say!”

Falcon's flight

Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained. 

Months passed and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more

familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer."

In the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of this miracle."

The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?"

With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird was sitting."

We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

So let us learn to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight !!!!!!!

99 Club

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King. Why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy?

The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?"

The man replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor.

After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."

"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.

The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins!

He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!"

He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."

He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never content, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life."

We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us, all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.

 That's what called joining The 99 Club!