How times change?

A mother in US:

"When we were young kids growing up , we were told to eat our vegetables at dinner and not leave them.

Mothers said, think of the starving children in India and finish the dinner.'

And now I tell my children:

'Finish your homework. Think of the children in India who would make you starve, if you don't. "

What movie star are you?

Ladies Only ... Which Movie Star Are You? This is kind of fun!

Ever wonder which movie star you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of movie stars.

The gathered info has been incorporated into this quiz. There are only 10 questions so it doesn't take long.

Number your paper from 1 to 10, then answer each question with the choice that most describes you *at this point in your life *, and then add up the points that correspond with your answers.

.... And don't be a butt and ruin the fun by not responding..

Don' t look ahead or you will ruin the fun!

1. Which describes your perfect date?
A) Candlelight dinner for two
B) Amusement Park
C) Roller blading in the park
D) Rock Concert
E) Have dinner & see a movie
F) Dinner at home with a loved one

2. What is your favorite type of music?
A) Rock and Roll
B) Alternative
C) Soft Rock
D) Classical
E) Christian
F) Jazz

3. What is your favorite type of movie?
A) Comedy
B) Horror
C) Musical
D) Romance
E) Documentary
F ) Mystery

4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these
c hoices?
A) Waiter/Waitress
B) Sports Player
C) Teacher
D) Policeman
E) Bartender
F) Business person

5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste? A) Work out
B) Make out
C) Watch TV
D) Listen to the radio
E) Sleep
F) Read

6. Of the following colors, which do you like best?
A) Yellow
B) White
C) Sky blue
D) Teal
E) Gold
F) Red

7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
A) Ice cream
B) Pizza
C ) Sushi
D) Pasta
E) Salad
F) Lobster Tail

8. Which is your favorite holiday?
A) Halloween
B) Christmas
C) New Year's
D) Valentine's Day
E) Thanksgiving
F) Fourth of July

9 If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?
A) Reno
B) Spain
C) Las Vegas
D) Hawaii
E) Hollywood
F) British Columbia

10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
A) Someone who is smart
B) Someone with good looks
C) Someone who is a party animal
D) Someone who has fun all the time
E) Someone who is very emotional
F) Someone who is fun to be with

Now total up your points on each question:
1 a-4; b-2; c-5; d-1; e-3; f-6
2. A-2; b-1; c-4; d-5; e-3; f-6
3. A-2; b-1; c-3; d-4; e-5; f-6
4. A-4; b-5; c-3; d-2; e-1; f-6
5. A-5; b-4; c-2; d-1; e-3; f-6
6. A-1; b-5; c-3; d-2; e-4; f-6
7. A-3; b-2; c-1; d-4; e-5; f-6
8. A-1; b-3; c-2; d-4; e-5; f -6
9. A-4; b-5; c-1; d-4; e-3; f-6
10. A-5; b-2; c-1; d-3; e-4; f-6 *

NOW .. Take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:

(10-17 points) You are MADONNA:
You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life . People don't al ways see things your way, but that doesn't mean t hat you should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.

(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:
You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray.

(27-34 points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS :
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt.. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.

(35-42 points) You are GRACE KELLY:
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all commitments and are a fam ily person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday.. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

(43-50 points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:
You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don't take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider 'real friends'. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't
overlook a bad situation when it does happen.

(51-60 points) You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR:
Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite sex. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so ... Love the people who treat you right.Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!


Story Credit: David’s blog, http://davidjpollay.typepad.com/david_j_pollay/lawofthegarbagetruck.html.

Mistakes

If a barber makes a mistake, It's a New Style

If a driver makes a mistake, It is a New Path

If an engineer makes a mistake, It is a New Venture

If parents makes a mistake, It is a New Generation

If a politician makes a mistake, It is a New Law

If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a New Invention

If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a New Fashion

If a teacher makes a mistake, It is a New Theory

If our boss makes a mistake, It is a New idea

If an employee makes a mistake, It is a Mistake Only

The Future with Obama and Brown‏

President Obama and Gordon Brown are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 100 years time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out:
"The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existent,there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries."

Gordon Brown thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout.
But he just stares at it. "Come on, Gordon," says Obama, "Tell us what it says."
"I can't! It's all in Urdu !"

You must be Irish...

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London . Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign said: "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair".

Paddy says to his pal, "Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, And when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, OK? Just let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent."

"Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will," replies Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, "I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each And 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my van and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts. "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"

"Well... Yes," says a surprised Paddy. "How der hell d' y' know dat?"

The owner replied, "This is a dry cleaners".

Kanjibhai in London

Kanjibhai arrives in London as a new immigrant to the UK .

Kanjibhai stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........

'Thank you Mr. British for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican!'

Kanjibhai goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK !'

The person says, 'I not British, I Polish!'

The newlr arrived Kanjibhai walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Britain !'

That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Russia , I am not from Britain !'

Kanjibhai sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a British?'

She says, 'No, I am from Africa !'

Puzzled, Kanjibhai asks her, 'Where are all the British?'

The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'

Getting Married

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a chemist.. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob: "Adult incontinence pants?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."

White Spot

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner.

Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the White Spot restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the White Spot because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the White Spot because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the White Spot because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the White Spot restaurant because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

Discrimination

An Indian goes to Woolworths in Australia . He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious.

He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Indian to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Indian goes home and returns with a dog.. He gets to buy the dog food.

The following week the Indian comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately pulls it out. He shouts, "What the hell! This is sh...t, you Idiot?"

The Indian calmly replies, "Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper?"

Sitting next to an Annoying passenger : try this

What to do in a flight when you have an annoying passenger sitting next to you ...

1. Remove your laptop from the briefcase;

2. Open the laptop slowly and carefully:

3. Turn it on, as well as the sound;

4. Make sure that the passenger next to you is looking;

5. Access the Internet;

6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open again and look up to heaven:

7. Take a deep breath and open the site:

http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.htmlhttp://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html>

8. Observe the facial expression of the passenger seating next to you..

Have a good trip.

You can't beat a Gujju

*Mr Patel walks into a bar in Sydney**, orders three pints of beer and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, so it would taste better if you bought just one at a time."

Mr Patel replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in London, the other is in Nairobi and I'm in Sydney**. When we all parted company in Nairobi**, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we spent together at the bar at The Norfolk Hotel. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Mr Patel becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two pints! All the regulars Take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

Mr Patel looks quite puzzled for a moment, then the light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains..."

It's just that my wife and I have become devoted Swaminarayans and obviously I had to quit
drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though!"

Long Time Friend

A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with
our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry.
The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet (I
wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honour them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home...Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long-time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for
someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... .. .

We just call him 'TV.'


He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.'

Their first child is "Cell Phone".

Second child "I Pod"

Alexander's last wishes‏

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence. He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit Him to reach his distant homeland. So, the mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last.

He called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's last wishes.

"My first desire is that", said Alexander, "My physicians alone must carry my coffin."

After a pause, he continued, "Secondly, I desire that when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury".

The king felt exhausted after saying this. He took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin".

The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes. But no one dared bring the question to their lips. Alexander's favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. "O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?"

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: "I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt.

Lessons to learn from last 3 wishes of King Alexander...

I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure any body. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted.

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell People that not even a fraction of gold will come with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.

And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world".

With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer him and breathed his last. . .

How smart is Your Right Foot?

How smart is Your Right Foot?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon.....

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it!

UN Survey

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world".

The survey was a huge failure..... ... Do you know why?


* In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.

* In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.

* In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.

* In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.

* In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.

* In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.

* And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.