Beggars

Parvinder and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London .  Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.. 

Habib says to Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?' 

Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'? 


Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'. 


Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3 


Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'? 


Parvinder shows Habib his sign... 


It reads: ..'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan'

Credit Card

Everyone in the wedding ceremony were watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room were wondering what did the bridge give to her father.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced

"Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

*The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

HIGH SCHOOL IN AMERICA .... 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack... 2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged  with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. 1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD... The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.. 2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations... His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. 1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher.. English is then banned from core curriculum.. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed. 1959 - Ants die. 2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism.. The FBI investigates his parents --and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1959 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Sardar Forever

Interviewer: What is your birth date? Sardar: 13th October Which year? Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe___ EVERY YEAR  Manager asked sardar at an interview. Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.  After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner? Wife: No! Why? Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?  One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar: Any great man born in this village??? Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!  Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.  When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive.  Interviewer: just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!  Sardar: My mobile bill how much? Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.  Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.. Friend: How do u know? Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new  Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!  Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world? Sardar: ZEBRA Teacher: How? Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White  Sardar attending an interview in Software Company. Manager: Do U know MS Office? Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.  Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay " Air hostess said: "B silent." Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"  Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?" Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!  Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple? Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Financial Management

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.

How? The other beggar asked.

First begger: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.
I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-,
and enjoyed the dinner.  When the bill came, I said, I had no money.

The Taj manager called the police man, and handed me over to him.

I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

A wonderful example of financial management indeed
 

Tintumon

Sardar: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Sardar: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Sardar: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?

Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…

Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression. "Dad,"
tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" tinumon finished.

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"

prof:chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
prof:For sodium?
Tintumon:NA
prof:wat will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atom of NA combines?
tintumon:"BANANA ”

teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"

Tintumon went to his Dad's Friend's home late night.
Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby's room.
Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.
Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,
Tintumon : Who are you?
The girl replied,"I am Baby and You??"
Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!!

A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI BAMBA"
professor: "i dont understand anything"
tintumon: "same 2 you"

Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

Recycle Budhha Style...

Buddha, one day, was in deep thought about worldly activities and the ways of instilling goodness in human beings.

One of his disciples approached him and said humbly "Oh my teacher ! While you are so much concerned about the world and others, why don't you look in to the welfare and needs of your own disciples also." 

Buddha: "OK.. Tell me how I can help you"

Disciple: "Master! My attire is worn out and is beyond the decency to wear the same. Can I get a new one, please?" 

Buddha found the robe indeed was in a bad condition and needed replacement. He asked the store keeper to give the disciple  a new robe to wear on. The disciple thanked Buddha and retired to his room.

A while later, Buddha went to his disciple's place and asked him "Is your new attire comfortable? Do  you need anything more?" 

Disciple: "Thank you my Master. The attire is indeed very comfortable. I need nothing more" 

Buddha: "Having got the new one, what did you do with your old attire?" 

Disciple: "I am using it as my bed spread" 

Buddha: "Then.. hope you have disposed off your old bed spread" 

Disciple: " No.. no.. master. I am using my old bedspread as my window curtain" 

Buddha: " What about your old Curtain?" 

Disciple: "Being used to handle hot utensils in the kitchen" 

Buddha: "Oh.. I see.. Can you tell me what did they do with the old cloth they used in Kitchen" 

Disciple: "They are being used to wash the floor." 

Buddha:" Then, the old rug being used to wash the floor...?" 

Disciple: "Master, since they were torn off so much, we could not find any better use, but to use as a twig in the oil lamp, which is right now lit in your study room...." 

Buddha smiled in contentment and left for his room. 

  

If not to this degree of utilization, can we at least make the best use of all our resources at home and in office? 

We need to handle wisely all the resources earth has bestowed us with — both natural and material, so that they can be saved for the generations to come!

Face De-addiction Center

The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering, "I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like" button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world." The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor. "Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India. My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

 "What do you like most about Facebook?"

 "It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

 "I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

 "Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

 "Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

 "Let me guess. Farmville?"

 "No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

 "No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

 "What pic are you using?"

 "Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

 "To make yourself look prettier?"

 "No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

 "Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

 "Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

 "When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

 "I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

 "What did you do?"

 "What else? I unfriended him of course!"

Blonde Help

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire? " had reached the final Plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 Milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover.
It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. The woman hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well ...blonde. She had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. Considering that her friend was a blonde, which would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.
"I need an answer," said Regis.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."

Two minutes later, Regis said, "That answer is absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire! "
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars."Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
"How did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on," said the blonde.. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks
 

Make me a TV

A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them...At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband just walked in, and when he saw her crying and asked her: - What happened?

She answered - Read essay from one of my students.

Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired. And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV.

At that moment the husband said:- 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!

She looked up at him and said:- 'That essay is our son's"

35 Indian Home remedies

Here are 35 Indian Home Remedies for everything imaginable and have been used for hundreds of years, before the advent of modern medicine. This is good especially for minor aliments and aches and pains. Print it out and keep it in a place where you can find it easily, when needed. This may avoid a trip to the doctors and/or make you feel healthy (and even look beautiful) in the process. Take Care!


1) Home Remedies for Asthma:

Take 1 tsp honey and 1/4 tsp cinnamon powder and mix them well before consuming. For people who are in their early stages of asthma, a perfect home remedy is to boil 8-10 cloves of garlic in 1/2 cup of milk and consume it during night time. Take very hot water and add a tsp of honey in it. Consume it just before sleeping and take small sips


2) Home Remedies for Body Odour:

Use antibacterial soap or deodorant soap while bathing. To combat the unpleasant armpit odour apply cider vinegar. It serves as the best body odour home remedy treatment. In the bathing water, add a few cups of tomato juice and soak yourself in water for about 15 minutes.


3) Home Remedies for Backache:

Lime juice serves as an excellent home remedy for backache. Squeeze the juice of 1 lemon and add common salt in it. Drink it two times in a day. It will act as a great back pain reliever.

As a part of back pain home remedy treatment, raw potato in the form of poultice is to be applied on the pain affected area. Usually Vitamin C that is mainly found in citrus fruits is considered valuable for getting rid of backaches. Consume about 2000 mg of this vitamin everyday.

Applying garlic oil on the back gives immense relief from back pain. Take about 10 small garlic pieces and fry them in oil on a low flame. You can either use sesame oil, coconut oil or mustard oil. Fry till the garlic cloves turn light brown. Let the oil prepared from garlic cool completely. Thereafter apply it on the back and keep it for about three hours. In a couple of days, you'll feel its magical effects


4)Home Remedies for Cough:

Grapes help a great deal in treating cold in a few days. Consume 1 cup grape juice and also add 1-teaspoon honey to it.

Almonds are excellent for dry coughs. Soak about seven almonds in water and keep them overnight. Next morning peel off the brown skin. Now grind them to form a powder and add twenty grams each of butter and sugar and form a paste. Consume it twice a day , once in the morning and the second time in the evening.


5) Home Remedies for Common Cold:

Lemon can be used effectively to treat common cold, as it increases the body resistance. Take one glass of warm water and pour some lime juice and a tsp of honey in it and consume it once or twice on a daily basis.

Take 1 tbsp of Pepper powder and boil it in a cup of milk. Also add on a pinch of turmeric to it. Put some sugar for taste. Drink it once in a day for about three days.

Take 3-4 tsp Onion juice and 3-4 tsp Honey and mix well before consuming.


6) Home Remedies for Common Fever:

The juice of grapefruit is valuable in all fevers. Helpful in quenching thirst, it also removes the burning sensation produced by the fever. Half a glass of grapefruit juice should be taken with half a glass of water.

Another ideal food in all types of fever is orange. It provides energy, increases urinary output, and promotes body resistance against infections. It is especially effective when the digestive power of the body is seriously hampered.


7)Home Remedies for Defective Vision:

Consume foods rich in vitamin A (like raw spinach, turnip tops, milk cream, cheese, butter, tomatoes,  lettuce, carrots, cabbage, Soya beans, green peas, fresh milk), as vitamin A helps in improving the eyesight.


8) Home Remedies for Diabetes:

Take 15 fresh mango leaves and boil them in 1 glass of water. Keep them overnight. Filter and drink the next morning.

As a part of diabetes home remedy treatment, grapefruit is considered most beneficial. Eat three grape fruits three times in a day.

Indian gooseberry (Amla), a rich source of vitamin C serves as the best home remedy for diabetes. Take 1 tbsp of gooseberry juice and mix it with a cup of bitter gourd (Karela) juice. Consume the mixture daily for about 2 months.


9) Home Remedies for Dry Chapped Lips:

Drink plenty of water every day. Cut fine slices of cucumber and rub on lips. Take a saline bath. Apply neem leaves extract on your lips.


10) Home Remedies for Diarrhoea:

Take a ripe banana and mash it properly. Add 1 tsp of tamarind pulp and a pinch of salt to it. Consume this mixture two times in a day.

A simple effective home remedy for diarrhea is to drink a cup of strong tea or coffee.

A popular diarrhea home remedy treatment is to consume a paste made of 15-20 fresh curry leaves mixed with 1 tsp honey.

Take a ripe banana, add 1/4 tsp nutmeg powder to it and eat it on a daily basis.

Take a tsp of date paste and mix with 1 tsp honey. This mixture is to be consumed 4-5 times a day.


11) Home Remedies for Ear Ache:

Boil 3-4 cloves of Garlic in some water. Mash them and add a pinch of salt. Wrap this 0poultice in a flannel or woolen cloth and place on the aching ear.

Pour some garlic juice in the paining ear. Its antibiotic qualities help to relieve the pain.

Take Vitamin C to boost your immune system. It is a natural antibiotic and antihistamine that helps to reduce inflammation and fever. Include zinc in your diet because it reduces ear infection. Certain foods, more commonly dairy products like milk, butter, cheese etc tend to aggravate ear infections, so it is better to avoid them during an ear infection


12)Home Remedies for Genital Warts:

Extract juice from onion slices and add salt to it. Apply this juice on the wart-affected area and see the magical effects.

Another great idea is to apply the milky juice of figs on the warts 2-3 times in a day, till the warts disappear.

Put few drops of apple cider vinegar on the warts using cotton ball.

Consume foods rich in folic acid and beta-carotene. Eat plenty of green leafy veggies


13) Home Remedies for Gingivitis:

Take some clove oil and rub it on your gums. Or else, keep a clove in your mouth and chew slowly.

Brush your teeth with toothpaste that contains sage oil, peppermint oil etc..

In 1 glass of lukewarm water, add a pinch of salt and prepare a homemade saline solution. Using this solution, gargle two times in a day. It will help a great deal in reducing the swelling in your mouth.

To heal the gum swelling, use an anti bacterial mouth wash.

Patients suffering from Gingivitis should consume foods containing low saturated fats.


14) Home Remedies for Hair Loss:

One of the best home remedies for treating hair loss is to massage your scalp with fingers gently. It will also aid in increasing blood circulation and lend glow to your hair.

Amla oil serves as an excellent tonic for hair conditioning. Apply this oil on the scalp and see the wonderful results.. OR for nourishing your hair, apply coconut milk all over your scalp and massage it into the hair roots.

15) Home Remedies for Hangover:

Drink plenty of water before going to bed as well as when you wake up in the morning.

Eating some foodstuff while and after you are drinking will slow down the rate at which alcohol enters the blood, thereby reducing the hangover.

Consume vitamin C tablets, as they lead to the breakdown of alcohol content in the body.


16) Home Remedies for Headache:

Eat an apple with a little salt on an empty stomach everyday and see its wonderful effects.

When headache is caused by cold winds, cinnamon works best in curing headache. Make a paste of cinnamon by mixing in water and apply it all over your forehead


17) Home Remedies for Heartburn:

Ginger serves as an effective home remedy for heartburn. Grind fresh ginger and prepare ginger tea.. You can even add ginger to foods.

Increase your fiber intake, as it aids in the absorption of excess acid and gas. It helps in flushing out the toxins from your body.

Dr ink plenty of water at least 8 glasses everyday.

Green tea is also effective in treating heartburn.

Prepare herbal tea containing equal small amounts of peppermint, chamomile, ginger, licorice root and catnip. Preferably, it should be taken after dinner

18) Home Remedies for Herpes:

Take a few ice cubes and rub them on the cold sore affected area for a few minutes.

Take a warm tea bag and apply it on the fever blisters for about half an hour.

Lemon balm extract is considered valuable in healing Herpes infection.

Consume foods rich in vitamins. Zinc and iron are also vital. Eat plenty of fruits and green veggies


19) Home Remedies for High Blood Cholesterol:

In 1 glass of water, add 2 tbsps of coriander seeds and bring to a boil. Let the decoction cool for some time and then strain. Drink this mixture two times in a day.

Sunflower seeds are extremely beneficial, as they contain linoleic acid that helps in reducing the cholesterol deposits on the walls of arteries. You just need to modify your cooking style a bit and substitute sunflower seeds for solid fats such as butter and cream.

Incorporate loads of fiber in your meals, as fiber helps a great deal in lowering the cholesterol pressure in blood.

20) Home Remedies for High Blood Pressure:

A real effective home remedy for high blood pressure is to take 1 tsp honey, 1 tsp ginger juice and 1 tsp cumin powder and mix them well. Have this mixture at least two times in a day.

As a part of high bp home remedy treatment, it's good to try out the idea of consuming coriander or fenu greek leaves mixed in 1 cup of water.

Take about 25-30 curry leaves and make a juice, using 1-cup water. You can even add on lime juice to it for making it tastier. Strain and drink it in the morning.

21) Home Remedies for Menopausal Disorder:

When a woman experiences menopause, she should take a daily supplement consisting of 500 mg magnesium and 2 gm of calcium.

Carrot seeds are of great value in case of menopause. In 1 glass of cow's milk, put a tsp of carrot seeds and boil for about 10 minutes or so. Consume it everyday as a medicine.

Liquorice serves as an effective remedy for menopause, as it contains the natural female hormone, estrogen. Thus, it helps in making up for the lost hormones.

22) Home Remedies for Obesity:

On an empty stomach in the morning, drink 1 glass of warm water mixed with juice of half a lime and 1 tsp honey.

In 1 cup of water, add 3 tsp of lime juice, 1/2 tsp pepper powder and some honey. Drink this everyday for about 3-4 months.

As a substitute of breakfast, consume 2 ripe tomatoes in the morning This remedy will aid in reducing your weight at a faster rate.

24) Home Remedies for Prostate Disorders:

Pumpkin seeds are extremely useful in treating prostate disorders. The seeds of pumpkin act as a rich source of unsaturated fatty acids that are vital to the health of the prostate.. Men suffering from prostate trouble must take about 60-90 gm of pumpkin seeds daily. Pumpkin can be consumed in the form of powder spread over the cooked food. You can also mix them with white flour for making chapattis.

Zinc has been found beneficial in the treatment of prostate disorders. Take about 30 milligrams of this mineral everyday.

Vitamin E is beneficial for prostate health. The patient should be given foods rich in vitamin E like wholegrain products, green leafy vegetables, milk and sprouted seeds.

In 200 ml spinach juice, add 300 ml of carrot juice. You can even have carrot juice separately. Vegetable juices are excellent in curing prostate disorders.

25) Home Remedies for Ringworm:

Take a raw fresh papaya and cut out slices. Rub the slice on the ringworm patch. It serves as an excellent home remedy for ring worms.

Take a few mustard seeds and powder them. Thereafter, make a paste using water.. Apply the paste on the ringworm-affected area and see its wonderful effects.


26) Home Remedies for Sexual Impotence:

Garlic is considered valuable in treating the problem of sexual impotence. It acts like a tonic for loss of sexual power Chew 2-3 cloves of raw garlic daily.

Another aphrodisiac food next to garlic is onion. It aids in strengthening the reproductive organs. Prefer going in for white onions.

Carrots have proved beneficial in creating the desire for sex. Take about 150 gm of finely chopped carrots and eat them with a half boiled egg, dipped in 1 tbsp of honey. Consume it once a day for about a month or two.


27) Home Remedies for Sinusitis:

Mango serves as an effective home remedy for preventing the frequent attacks of sinus, as it is packed with loads of vitamin A. OR Another beneficial remedy consists of consuming pungent foods like onion and garlic, as a part of your daily meals.

Fenugreek leaves are considered valuable in curing sinusitis. In 250 ml water, boil 1 tsp of Fenugreek seeds and reduce it to half. This will help you to perspire, dispel toxicity and reduce the fever period.

Tie a tsp of black cumin seeds in a thin cotton cloth and inhale..


28) Home Remedies for Sore Throat:

Take 1-2 cloves of garlic and 2-3 cloves and make a paste. Mix with 1 cup of honey. Drink 1 tsp about 3 times in a day.

In 1 cup of warm milk, add a pinch of turmeric powder.. Drink the milk before going to bed.

Take 1 whole onion and boil it with some water. Thereafter, mash it and add some butter, salt and pepper to it. Now eat this mixture.


29) Home Remedies for Stomach Ache:

Drink plenty of water , as it helps in ensuring smooth bowel movements.

Drink lemon tea with some honey added in it for taste. It will keep away stomach ache.

Mix 1 tsp each of mint juice and lime juice. Add some ginger juice and black salt in it. Drink this mixture.


30) Home Remedies for Tonsillitis :

Take a fresh lemon and squeeze it in a glass of water. Add 4 tsp of honey and ¼ tsp of common salt in it. Drink it slowly sip by sip.

Milk has proved beneficial in treating tonsillitis. In 1 glass of pure boiled milk, add a pinch of turmeric powder and pepper powder. Drink it every night for about 3 days.


31) Home Remedies for Toothache:

Dip 1 clove of garlic in rock salt and place it on the affected tooth.

Keep a piece of raw onion inside the mouth on the affected tooth.

Clove serves as an excellent home remedy for toothache. Keep a clove in your mouth and suck it. You can even apply clove oil on the affected tooth.

Lime is considered valuable in maintaining the health of teeth.

Consume the juice of wheat grass, as it acts as a fabulous mouthwash in case of tooth decay.


32) Home Remedies for Wrinkles:

Application of20 leftover egg whites at the bottom of the shell to the problematic area serves as an effective home remedy for wrinkles.

For the sagging skin under the eyes or on the throat, apply some odorless Castor oil.

Take some coconut oil and massage on the wrinkled skin.

Eat 1 tsp of shredded ginger along with a few drops of honey every morning.

Rub the core of a pineapple all over your face for sometime and leave it for 10 to 15 minutes.


33) Home Remedies for Urinary Tract Infection:

In 8 oz of water, put 1/2 tsp of baking soda and drink it.

Drink plenty of water, as it aids in flushing out the waste products from the body.

Drink Cranberry juice. You can also add some apple juice for taste.


34) Home Remedies for Warts:

Apply Castor oil daily over the problematic area. Continue for several months.
Apply milky juice of fresh and barely-ripe figs a number of times a day. Continue for two weeks.
Rub cut raw potatoes on the affected area several times daily. Continue for at least two weeks.
Rub cut onions on the warts to stimulate the circulation of blood.
Apply powder of herb Indian squall daily over the warts.
Apply milk from the cut end of dandelion over the warts 2-3 times a day.
Apply oil extracted from the shell of the cashew nut over the warts.
Apply Papaya juice
Apply Pineapple juice


35) Home Remedies for Vomiting:

Take 2 cardamoms and roast them on a dry pan (tava). Powder the cardamoms and thereafter add a tsp of honey in it.. Consume it frequently. It serves as a fabulous home remedy for vomiting.

In the mixture of 1 tsp of mint juice and 1 tsp lime juice, add 1/2 tsp of ginger juice and 1 tsp honey. Drink this mixture to prevent vomiting.

Lime juice is an effective remedy for vomiting. Take a glass of chilled lime juice and sip slowly. To prevent vomiting, drink ginger tea.

In 1 glass water, add some honey and drink sip by sip.

Software Quoes

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
-Dennis Ritchie
________________________________________

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
—Ralph Johnson
________________________________________

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-Fred Brooks
________________________________________

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-Steve McConnell
________________________________________

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure, and the intelligent are full of doubt.
-Bertrand Russell
________________________________________

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,Then programming must be the process of putting them in..
-Edsger Dijkstra
________________________________________

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
–Bertrand Meyer
________________________________________

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
-Alan J. Perlis
________________________________________

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
-Bill Gates
________________________________________

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
-Tom Cargill
________________________________________

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
-Anonymous
________________________________________

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice:
Nothing works and they don't know why.
________________________________________

The Six Phases of a Project:
• Enthusiasm
• Disillusionment
• Panic
• Search for the Guilty
• Punishment of the Innocent
• Praise for non-participants