Anger

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.  He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the ! day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there.  A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

No Rent

An ant knocks on the door of a house. 

The house owner opens the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner. 

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested to the owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow the ant to stay with it. 

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This continued as the ant brings in one more and and the owner agrees for it. 

One fine day, the ant brought in a tenth ant and requested the owner to allow him also to stay with it.

The owner said, "OK, you can all stay here but you all need to pay rent."

Now the question is: Why did the owner ask for rent when the last ant came in?

Because they are now tenants!

Courtroom

At the start of an important trial, a small town attorney called his first witness to the stand. She seemed like a sweet, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. You've become a huge disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a hot shot lawyer, when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why, of course I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, also, is a real disappointment. He's lazy, bigoted, never has a nice word to say about anybody, and he drinks like a fish. He's been divorced five times, and everybody knows that his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

The judge rapped his gavel, to quiet the tittering among the spectators in the courtroom. Once the room was silent, he called both attorneys to his bench. In a quiet, menacing voice, he warned, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!" 

Ramanayan ki Biwiyan

Poori RAMAYAN biwiyon ki kahani hai..........

Laxman apni ghar pe chhodkar chala aya.

Rawan doosre ki utha ke phans gaya .

Hanuman ki apni thi hi nahi, magar doosre ki dhundhne mein Lanka jala dali.

Sugreev Paressan tha us ki Biwi ko, Baali Utha Ke le gaya tha.

Ram ko apni wapas laane ke liye 10 din tak war karni padi.

Wapas lake bhi kya mila?  Ek dhobi ne apni biwi ko wapas ghar mein nahin liya,  to Ram ne apniwali ko out kar diya.  Aur end mein kya hua?

Jis biwi ke karan itni badi ramayan hui wo to underground chali gayi!

Abhi socho,  akhaa jhamela hua kaiko?  Kyun ki Dashrath ki 3 biwiyan thi!
 
 

Famous Anagrams

An Anagram is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase... Anagrams have been enjoyed for thousands of years - Louis XIII appointed a Royal Anagrammatist to entertain the court with anagrams of people's names! ...]

A Case Of Mistaken Identity = Testimony Indicates A Fake
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
A Domesticated Animal = Docile, As A Man Tamed It
A McDonald's Burger = Real Dog And Crumbs!
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss = Stroller On Go, Amasses Nothing
A Stitch In Time Saves Nine = This Is Meant As Incentive
Accenture = Enact Cure
Adios, Amigos = I Go, So I Am Sad
Adolph Coors Company = Drool, Hops Accompany!
Aeroflot = Fare: Loot / Fear Tool
Agillion, Inc. = I'll Gain Coin
Air France = Farce 'n Air
Alcatel = Ate Call
Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
Alien Abductions = Tabloid Nuisance
Allstate Insurance = Rascal Lieutenants
Altavista = A Vast Tail
America Online = Re: Mail in Ocean
American Airlines = In Earlier, Maniacs?
American Greetings = Engineers Magic Art
Analog Devices = Naﶥ Coed Gals
Animosity = Is No Amity
Answers.com = Crass Women
Apple Computer = Meet Popular PC / Operate Plum PC
Apple Computer Corporation = Am I A Corrupt PC Or Not, People?
Apple Computer, Inc. = Laptop PC? Me, I Run CE!
Astronomers = No More Stars / Moon Starers
Atlas Van Lines = Vast Snail Lane
AutoTrade.com = Amateur Doctor

Banana Republic = Annual Bribe Cap / Incapable Urban
Barbie Doll = I'll Bare Bod / Babe I'd Roll / Liberal Bod
Bell Atlantic = In Battle Call
Blockbuster = Stock: Rubble
Boeing = Big One
Bottoms Up! = Pubs' Motto
Breastfeeding = Insert Feedbag
British Airways = Was Bit Hairy, Sir?
British Airways Concorde = Crew Say It Is Rich On Board
British Petroleum = Pure Mobile Thirst
Business.com = Nice Sum, Boss
Butterfly = Flutter-by

Caldera = Lead Car
Campbell Soup = Placebo Lumps
Camry = My Car
Capital Records = Coal Porter Disc?
Casio Watch = Ciao! Swatch
Charles Schwab = Crash Blew Cash
Cheapbytes = Beach Types
Cheerios = Echo Rise
Chevrolet = Clever, Hot
Christmas Tree = Search, Set, Trim
Cigarette Advertising = Creating Grave Ditties
Cinemax = Mexican
Circumstantial Evidence = Can Ruin A Selected Victim
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Clothespins = So Let's Pinch
Comfort Inn = Not Confirm
Comsat Corporation = Compatriot Racoons
Continuous = Nut Cousin
Contraction = I Can Contort
Contradiction = Accord Not In It
Conversation = Voices Rant On
Credit Lyonnais = Nice Dirty Loans

Darling I Love You = Leaving Your Idol / Avoiding Our Yell
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Day Trader = A Dry Trade
Debit Card = Bad Credit
Delta Airlines = I Land Earliest
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
Dictionary = Indicatory
Diplomacy = Mad Policy
DirecTV = TV Cried
Discover Card = Drives Accord
Disraeli = I Lead, Sir
Dodge Ram = Do Drag Me
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Dot-com Shares = O, Most Crashed!
Doubleclick = Click Be Loud
Doubleday = Loaded Buy
Dreamworks = Mad Workers
Dreyfus = Dry Fuse

Eastman Kodak Company = A Tacky Snap Mode, OK Man?
Ebay = A Bye
Eddie Bauer = I, A Beer Dude
Election Results = Let's Recount
Electronic Arts = Least Incorrect
Eleven Plus Two = Twelve Plus One
Elvis = Lives
Ericsson Mobile Phones = So, so Incomprehensible
Esquire Magazine = I'm A Queen-Size Rag
Evangelist = Evil's Agent
Exclamation = A Climax

Fart = Raft
Fidelity = Fit Yield
Fisher-Price = Chirp Is Free
Florence Nightingale = Nigel, Fetch An Iron Leg / Flit On Cheering Angel
Folgers = Golfers
Four Seasons = Snores of USA
Fruit of the Loom = Off Toilet Humor
Funeral = Real Fun

Gateway = Get Away
General Dynamics = Legendary Maniacs
General Electric = Electrical Genre
General Motors = Enlarges Motor / Or Great Lemons
George Bush = He Bugs Gore
George Herbert Walker Bush - Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog
Geoworks = Egos Work
Global One = Label: No-Go
Great Universal Stores = Turnover Gets Salaries!
Greyhound = Young Herd / Hey, Dog, Run!

Hallmark, Inc. = Charm All Kin
Healthy Choice Eatables = Oh! Aesthetic Bellyache
Heavy Rain? = Hire A Navy!
Hello Kitty = Kill The Toy
Holiday Inn = Holy Indian
Howard Stern = Retard Shown
Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone = Hydroxydeoxycorticosterones (the largest anagrams)

I Fit Iron Dick = Frickin Idiot
Indomitableness = Endless Ambition
International Business Machines = Secret Businessman Annihilation
Internet Joe-ks = Inner Joke Test / Inert Joke Nest
Internet Stocks = Consistent Trek
Interwoven = Vote Winner
Intoxicate = Excitation
Iomega = I Am Ego
Is There Life on Mars? = Aliens? Mothers' rife!

Joe-ks Humour = Joke Humor Us
Joe-kster = Jester OK

KLM Royal Dutch Airlines = Land Hairy - Kill Customers

Learjet = Real Jet
Les Demoiselles d'Avignon = Vile Meaningless Doodles
Liberate = Real Bite
Lifesavers = Safer Lives
Linuxcare = Clear Unix
Lipton Tea = Teapot Nil
Listen = Silent
Little Caesar's = Stale Articles
Love Is Blind = Blond Is Evil
Lucent Technologies = Huge Net Collections
Lufthansa - Fatal Huns
Lycos = Sly Co.

MacDonalds = Clam and Sod
Madonna of the Rocks = So Dark The Con Of Man
Macy's Department Store = Randomly Attempts Crease
Margaret Thatcher = A Charm Tart, Get Her! or That Great Charmer 
MasterCard = A Dry Trade
Maternity Pants = A Nasty Prim Tent
Mattel Toys = Tamely Tots
McDonald's Restaurants = Uncle Sam's Standard Rot
Mediocrity = Me Cry "Idiot"
Medtronic = Medic Torn
Mel Gibson = Bong Smile
Merriam Webster Dictionary = May Cite Brainier Word Terms
Microsoft Technical Support = Con, From Culprit's Pathetic OS
Microsoft WebTV = Cow-form Bites TV
Microsoft Word = iformworst.doc
Microware = I'm Rare Cow
Mitsubishi Corporation = I Prohibit Crimson Autos!
Monster.com = Mormon Sect
Mother-In-Law = Woman Hitler
Mountain Dew = O! I'm Unwanted
Music Television = Sit, Volume Is Nice

Natural Voices = Saliva Counter
Nature's Gift = Fruit Agents
New York Stock Exchange = Now Exchange Skyrocket
New York Times = Monkeys Write / Monkey Writes
Newcastle Brown Ale = Locals Want New Beer
Nippon Steel Corporation = No Iron, Tin, Copper Apostle
Nissan Motor Company Ltd. = Tipsy Madman On Controls
Nokia Mobile Phones = Open A Helsinki Boom!
Nortel Networks = Loner Treks Town
Nissan Altima = Snail Stamina
Nose narcotic? = Snort cocaine!

Olympus = So Lumpy

Paleface She Rides Hard = Fair Heads Scalped Here
Paramount Pictures = Upon Amateur Script
Parishioners = I Hire Parsons
Parliament = Partial Men
Pentium = Input 'em
Peoplesoft = Lots Of Peep
Perfumania.com = Panoramic Fume
PhotoSmart = Motto: Sharp
Pillsbury - Silly Burp
Pittance = A Cent Tip
Postpartum = Ma, Pop Strut
Pre-natal = Parental / Paternal
Presbyterian = Best In Prayer
President' Hillary Clinton? = Hi! try dollar\cent spin line.
President' Hillary Clinton? = Hi! try dollar\cent spin line.
President' Hillary Clinton? = Notice thrill, lady spinner?
President' Hillary Clinton? = Rich lady, in internet polls.
President' Hillary Clinton? = Richly pliant, tender loins.
President Clinton Of The USA = To Copulate He Finds Intern
Priceline = Peril 'n Ice
Princess Cruises = Scenic Surprises
Princess Diana = End Is A Car Spin
Prognosis = Signs: Poor
Prudential = Real Pundit
Public Relations = Crap, Built On Lies
Public Relations = I Practise Bull, No?
Punishment - Nine Thumps

Radio Shack = Hacks Radio
Radisson Hotels = This Load Snores!
Raiders Of The Lost Ark = Ford, the Real Star, Is OK
Random House = Around Homes
RCA Television = Vertical Noise
Real Networks = Lowest Ranker
Ronald Reagan = A Darn Long Era
Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord
Rose = Eros

Salman Rushdie = Read, Shun Islam
Schoolmaster = The Classroom
Semolina = Is No Meal
Sendmail, Inc. = Nice And Slim
Shoplifter = Has To Pilfer
Siemens = Nemesis
Sikorsky = O! Risk Sky
Silence of the Lambs = Con Bites Male Flesh
Silicon Graphics = A Long Chip Crisis / Can Logic Ship, Sir? / Gosh, Sir, I Can Clip!
Singapore Airlines = Pioneer Asian Girls
Slot Machines = Cash Lost In 'Em
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
Software = Swear Oft
Staples.com = Costs Ample
Statue Of Liberty = Built To Stay Free
Student Information Processing Board = Computation Transgression Forbidden
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring = "Time's Running Past", We Murmur
Sunshine and Shadow = Show in Sun and Shade
Superscape = Pure Spaces
Sustainable energy = Sane, suitably green.

Telesat = Seattle
The American First Lady, Laura Bush = I am after a cuter husband - Hillary's!
The American Revolution = Unite To Revile A Monarch
The Best Things In Life Are Free = Nail-biting Refreshes The Feet
The Boeing Company = Not Cheap, Big Money!
The Check is in the Mail = Claim "Heck, I Sent It (heh)"
The Cockroach = Cook, Catch Her
The Countryside = No City Dust Here
The Detectives = Detect Thieves
The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
The End Of The World Is Nigh! = Down This Hole, Frightened!
The Enron Corporation = Horror! Note Panic Tone!
The Eyes = They See
The Google Search Engine = Oh, Cheer Net-Logging Ease!
The Great New York Rapid Transit Tunnel = Giant Work In Street, Partly Underneath
The Hilton = Hint: Hotel
The Hospital Ambulance = A Cab, I Hustle to Help Man
The Intel Corporation = Tailor One Rotten Chip
The International Space Station = I Train That Telescope On NASA Tin
The Last Supper = Streuth! Apples?
The Leaning Tower Of Pisa = What A Foreign Stone Pile
The Mona Lisa = Oh, Lame Saint
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
The Railroad Train = Hi! I Rattle And Roar
The Republican Party"->"Elephant-crap? Bury it!"
The Republican Party = Prat Cheney: "April? Tub!"
The Towering Inferno = Not Worth Fire Engine
The United States Bureau of Fisheries = I Raise the Bass to Feed Us in the Future
The United States of America = Attaineth Its Cause, Freedom
The United States Of America = The Dream: Fine Cause - Toast It
The United States Postal Service = It dispatches letters to avenues
Thinkpad = Kind Path
Ticketmaster = Tickets Tamer
Time Warner = Writer: Amen! / Mean Writer
Tobacco Is Our Middle Name = Communicate Bloodier Ads / Carcinoma Doubt? Some Lied!
Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter
Tony Blair, P.M. = I'm Tory plan B
Toyota Landcruiser = O, Dusty Oriental Car
Travelocity = Try Locative
Tropicana = An Apricot
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea = Huge Water Tale Stuns. End Had You Tense.
Tylenol Pill = Lo! Plenty ill

United Parcel Service = Accept, Insure, Deliver!
United Parcels Service = Price; value; directness.
Universal Pictures = Surplus In Creative

Victoria, England's Queen = Governs A Nice Quiet Land
Virgin Air = I Arriving
Vacation Times = I'm Not As Active
Viagra Impotency Drug = Going Up - Very Dramatic!
Virgin Atlantic Airlines = Instil Cavalier Training

Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. = Trim, Lean Cost-Wars
Wall Street = Treats Well
Walt Disney = Wants Yield
Weather Channel = Whale Enchanter
Web Vision = View Bison
WebMethods = Show Me Debt
Wendy's International Inc. = Dinner-Wait Annoys Client
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
Wild Oats = Sow It, Lad
Windows Two Thousand = Shutdowns. Now Do Wait.
Wired = Weird
Wonderbra = Wore Brand?
WorldCom = Cold Worm

Year Two Thousand = A Year To Shut Down

Celebrity Anagrams
Al Pacino = A Pal Icon
Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
Andre Agassi = Grass An Aide
Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Governor Of California = After Recall, Sigh, An Overgrown Nerd In Charge Of Zoo
Bette Midler = Diet? Tremble!
Billy Graham = Big Rally Ham
Britney Spears = Presbyterians
Bruce Springsteen = Bursting Presence
Camilla Parker Bowles = Workable Caramel Lips
Carly Simon = Moans Lyric
Celine Dion = No, I Decline
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
Damon Albarn = Dan Abnormal
Danny Devito = Native Noddy
David Letterman = Nerd Amid Late TV
Drew Barrymore = Merry Wardrobe
Eddie Murphy = Rude? I'm Hyped!
Elvis = Lives
Eric Clapton = Narcoleptic
Francis Ford Coppola = Cold Popcorn Affairs
George W. Bush = Begs Huge Row
Gillian Anderson = No Aliens, Darling
Gloria Estefan = Large Fat Noise
Greta Garbo = Bogart Gear
Howard Stern = He Drowns Art
Jay Leno = Enjoy L.A.
Jerry Seinfeld = Friendly Jeers
Julia Roberts = Just a Broiler
Katie Holmes = Likes a Tom, eh?
Lady Diana Spencer = Ascend in Paris
Leonardo da Vinci = O, Draconian Devil
Leonardo Dicaprio = Docile Or Paranoid
Marie Osmond = Mormon Ideas
Melanie Griffith = Right Fee in a Film
Monica Seles = Slice So Mean
Placido Domingo = God I Do Complain
Robert De Niro = Error On Bidet
Robin Williams = I Warm Billions
Sharon Stone = No Near Shots
Shirley Maclaine = American Yells "Hi"
Sigourney Weaver = Review Agony? Sure!
Stephanie Beacham = I'm As Cheap Beneath
Steven Spielberg = Best PG Never Lies
Sylvester Stallone = Slovenly Steel Star
Ted Turner = Utter Nerd
Tom Cruise = So I'm Cuter
Venus Williams = Values Slim Win
Whitney Houston = In Tone - Why Shout?
William Clinton = I'm It, An Ill Clown
William Shakespeare = I Am A Weakish Speller
William Shakespeare = I'll Make A Wise Phrase
Woody Allen = Wooed All NY

Einstein Stories

Some interesting and revealing incidents from the life of Albert Einstein, who was recently honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century.

One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform.

Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it!"

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognise him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to

his home and did not even collect his fare from him.

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'

Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'

THE TEACUP

There was a couple that used to go to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke.


 "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay." My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "let me alone", but he only smiled, "Not yet."


 "Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!" I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet."


 Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips, as He shook his head, "Not yet."


 Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. "There, that's better," I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Stop it, stop it!" I cried. He only nodded, "Not yet."


 Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, "Not yet."


 Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful."


 "I want you to remember," then, he said, "I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled.

 

I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life.

 

And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you." 

Don't mess with the kids

A little girl was talking to her  teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.


-------------------------------


A Kindergarten teacher was  observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would  occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.' 


-------------------------------


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she  asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers  and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
---------------------


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'


--------------------


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


---------------------
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


--------------------------


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Blind vs Blonde

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir,I think it is only fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is a blonde professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,

"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."