How smart can one get

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.  

The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.  

 

He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.  As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gun-slinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

The young gun-slinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"  

 

The old man looked up at the gun-slinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gun-slinger grinned and said,  "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. 

  

The old prospector -- not wanting to get a toe blown off-- started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.  Everybody was laughing, fit to bust. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gun-slinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

 

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. 

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.  

 

The young gun-slinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.  The silence was almost deafening.  

 

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?" 

The gun-slinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... 've always wanted to....."

 

There are a few lessons for us all here:

 

Never be arrogant.

Don't waste ammunition.

Alcohol makes you think you're smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

Don't mess with old men; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Thirsty Buddha

Once Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."

The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."

After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake.

The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same.

After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.

This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own -- and you have clear water.

Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process!

How to identify an IT professional

1. He/She never bargains... No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven't slept for years...
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon...
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by 'default'...
5. Weekends are holy words... they are like a salvation one seeks for...
6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in...
8. They don't send or take things... they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day...
10. They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do... When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room"  J
11. Mondays are always blue...
12. All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now...  

Pencil & Eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry.... Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong. Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time. Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :) I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.  Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad. This is for all parents out there.....

And, more important, for the children to understand and gratefully remember.  

Customer Service

The 10 most important words:       “I apologize for our mistake. Let me make it right.”

The 9 most important words:         “Thank you for your business. Please come back again.”

The 8 most important words:         “I’m not sure, but I will find out.”

The 7 most important words:         “What else can I do for you?”

The 6 most important words:         “What is most convenient for you?”

The 5 most important words:         “How may I serve you?”

The 4 most important words:         “How did we do?”

The 3 most important words:         “Glad you’re here!”

The 2 most important words:         “Thank you.”

The MOST important word:            “Yes.”

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. 


Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. 


Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen other Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. 


And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.