1970s Reloaded

1. Though you may not publicly own up to this, at the age of 12-17 years,you were very proud of your first "Bellbottom" or your first "Maxi"or your first Apache jeans.
2. Phantom Mandrake were your only true
heroes. The brainy ones read"Competition Success Review". (Absolutely true!)
3. Your "Camlin" geometry box Natraj/Flora pencil was your prized possession.
4. The only "Holidays" you took were to go to your grandparents' or your cousins' houses.
5. Ice-cream meant only - either an orange stick, a vanilla stick – or a Choco Bar if you were better off than most.
6. You gave your neighbour’s phone number to others with a ‘c/o’ written against it because you had booked yours only 7 years ago and were still waiting for your number to come.
7. Your first family car (and the only one) was a Fiat or an Ambassador. This often had to be pushed by the entire family to get going.
8. The glass windows in the back seats used to get stuck at the two-thirds down level and used to irk the shit out of you! The window went down only if your puny arm could manage the tacky rotary handle to pull it down. Locking the door was easy. You just whacked the other tacky, non-rotary handle downwards.
9. Your mom had stitched the weirdest lace curtains for all the windows of the car. They were tied in the middle and if your dad was the comfort-oriented kinds, you had a magnificent small fan upfront.
10. Your parents were proud owners of HMT watches. You "earned" yours after SSC exams.
11. You have been to "Jumbo Circus"; have held your breath while the pretty young thing in the glittery skirt did acrobatics, quite enjoyed the
elephants hitting football, the motorcyclist vrooming in the "Mauthka Gola" and it was politically okay to laugh your guts out at dwarfs hitting each other's bottoms!
12. You at least once heard "Hawa Mahal" on the radio.
13. If you had a TV, it was normal to expect the neighborhood to gather around to watch the Chitrahaar or the Sunday movie. If you didn't have a TV, you just went to a house that did. It mattered little if you knew the owners or not.
14. Sometimes the owners of these TVs got very creative and got a bi or even a tri-coloured anti-glare screen which they attached with two side clips onto their Weston TVs. That confused the hell out of you!
15. Black White TVs weren't so bad after all because cricket was played in whites.
16. You thought your Dad rocked because you got your own (the family's; not your own own!) colour TV when the Asian Games started. Everyone else got the same idea as well and ever since, no one came over to your house and you didn't go to anyone else's.
17. You dreaded the death of any political leader because of the mourning they would announce on the TV. After all how much "Shashtriya Sangeet" can a kid take? Salma Sultana also didn't smile during the mourning.
18. You knew that "Indira Gandhi" was somebody really powerful and terribly important. And that's all you needed to know.
19. The only "Gadgets" in the house were the TV, the Fridge and possibly a mixer.
20. All the gadgets had to be duly covered with a crochet covers and sometimes even with ingenious, custom-fit plastic covers.
21. Movies meant Rajesh Khanna or Amitabh Bachchan. Before the start of the movie you always had to watch the obligatory "Newsreel".
22. You thought you were so rocking because you knew almost all the songs of Abba and Boney M.
23. Your hormones went crazy when you heard "Disco Deewane" by Naziya Hassan Zoheb Hassan.
24. School teachers, your parents and even your neighbours could whack you and it was all okay.
25. Photograph taking was a big thing. You were lucky if your family owned a camera. A reel of 36 exposures was valuable hence it justified the half hour preparation "setting" the "posing" for each picture. Therefore, you have atleast one family picture where everyone is holding their breath and standing at attention! 

26. During Diwali /idd celebaration it was family clothes tailored from our favourite tailor down the road with all shirt pant and  and sister's clothes with same cloth design.. it was common...

27. We walked to school or took a bus..the ones who got dropped by car were always RICH ones.

  

28. Our outdoor games were gully danda, marbles, stick in the mud , langdi, lagoori , abba dubhi , Dog and the bone, chupa chupi ( my favourite) ....

29. Going out to eat in a restaurant was an occasion maybe once /twice in a year.

30. Mostly we managed with one pair of shoes for the whole year at school, our elder brother/sisters clothes  , books were passed to us for school...

31. " Duckback " raincoats were premium what we could get starting the school in rainy season every year...

Did you hear anyone say, OLD IS GOLD?

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

Evening classes for men. Starting this month! 
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. 

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. 
Step by step with slide presentation. 

Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders?
Round-table discussion. 

Topic 3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. 
Pictures and explanatory graphics. 

Topic 4. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. 
Open forum. 

Topic 5. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape. 

Topic 6. Real men ask for directions when lost. 
Real-life testimonials. 

Topic 7. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? 
Driving simulation. 

Topic 8. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. 
Online class and role playing. 

Topic 9. How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. 

Topic 10. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. 
Cerebral shock therapy sessions.

CLASSES FOR WOMEN....

Training courses are now available for women on the
following subjects: 

Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier:
Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking:
Making Deposits

Topic 3. Parties:
Going Without New Outfits

Topic 4. Bathroom Etiquette:
Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

Topic 5. Communication Skills I:
Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

Topic 6. Communication Skills II:
Getting What you Want Without Nagging

Topic 7. Driving a Car Safely:
A Skill You CAN Acquire

Topic 8. Telephone Skills:
How to Hang Up

Topic 9. Classic Footwear:
Wearing Shoes You Already Have

Topic 10. Oil and Petrol:
Your Car Needs Both 

THE TEACUP

There was a couple that used to go to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful." As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke.


 "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup. There was a time when I was red and I was clay." My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "let me alone", but he only smiled and said, "Not yet."


"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy!" I screamed. But the master only nodded and said ‘Not yet, not yet’.

Then he put me in the oven. I had never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips, as he shook his head, “Not yet”.

Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. "There, that's better," I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Stop it, stop it!" I cried. He only nodded, "Not yet."


 Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, "Not yet."


Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me; that couldn’t be me. It’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.”

Then, he said: 

"I want you to remember - I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled.  

“I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life.

“And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.”

 God knows what He's doing (for all of us). He is the Potter, and we are His clay.

He will mould us and make us, so that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing, and perfect will. 

Hindi Quotes...

Intention kitna bhi achha ho.
Duniya presentation dekhti hai...
Aur
Presentation kitana bhi accha ho,
Uparwala Intention dekhta hai.. !!! "Choice is urs" !!!



"Patthar Sirf ek bar Mandir Jaata hai aur Bhagwan Ban Jaata hai.

Hum Roz Mandir Jakar bhi Patthar hi Rehte hain."

Lion and Santa Singh

Santa Singh and his friend were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them.  One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved.  When asked why he is not running, another Santa Singh tells: "Why should I be  running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

The Horse which could not fly

Several hundred years back, there lived a very strong and ambitious king. He had assembled a very powerful army, with the help of which he had built a huge empire. The most important part of this army was his cavalry – brave soldiers who rode on excellent horses. He himself would lead this army, moving around on a very special horse, whose speed was the envy of all. But being extremely ambitious, he was not satisfied even with such a fine horse. He would often dream of teaching this horse how to fly – so that those whom he was conquering would be mesmerized into surrendering meekly. But he knew this was only a dream, and could not be converted into reality.

Being a strong and ambitious person, he ruled over his subjects with an iron hand, dispensing justice without mercy. One day, a man accused of a crime was brought before him. Without too much investigation, the king concluded that he was guilty and ordered his execution. There being no way of appealing against this judgment, the man accepted his fate. But, as he was being led away, he let it be known to his captors that he had a special skill – he knew how to make a horse fly. Knowing how much the king was keen on having his horse learn to fly, this information was conveyed to the king by one of the soldiers. The king immediately ordered the man brought before him, and asked:

‘Is it true that you can teach a horse how to fly?’

‘Yes, your majesty, this is a special talent the Lord has bestowed on me’, he answered, with his head bowed.

‘I order you to use your special talent and teach my horse how to fly’, the king commanded

.

‘Your wish is my command, your majesty’, the man replied. ‘The only problem is, this learning process will take time, but I am going to be hanged today itself.’

“How long will it take?”, asked the king.

“One full year, your majesty. Every day, it will look like the horse has learnt nothing, but suddenly, after the year is over, you will see him flying.”, replied the man.

The king ordered that his execution be postponed by one full year, at the end of which he would be pardoned if the horse really starts flying. The man was then duly escorted out of the palace and set free. He started walking home in the company of a friend who had accompanied him.

When they were out of the earshot of the palace guards, his friend looked at him gravely, and said:

“What have you done? I know you have no such talent as you claimed to have. So, an year from now, you are going to be exposed as a fraudster. The king will be hopping mad at the trick you have played on him, and will have you killed in the most torturous manner. I shudder to think of you being trampled by one of his elephants, or, even worse, your body being torn apart limb by limb.”

The man answered:

“You are a true friend, my dear, so worried about what may happen to me an year from now. Special thanks for not telling anyone out there that I do not have that talent. They would have tortured me to death right away. Now, it will not happen for a full year. And, my friend, never forget that an year is a long time. Who knows what may happen in an year? The king might die, and with a new king at the helm this whole episode could be forgotten by everyone. Or, I might die – a natural and peaceful death. Or, who knows, the horse might even learn to fly! Let us not worry about what might happen an year from now and thus deprive ourselves of the great pleasure of being alive today. Let us learn to live in this moment and enjoy every bit of it.”

Apple in a Mango Tree

A monkey climbed a tree where Santa Singh was sitting.  Santa Singh asked: "Tu uper  kyon aaya?"   Monkey: "Apple Khane"  Santa Singh: "Yeh to mango tree hai" Monkey : "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon

Knowledge Management In Ramayan and Mahabharata

In Both The Great Epics of India , Ramayan and Mahabharata, war ends not with celebration of victory but with transmission of knowledge. In the Ramayan, Ravan lies mortally wounded on the battlefield and the monkeys are celebrating their victory, when Ram turns to his brother, Lakshman, and says, “While Ravan was a brute, he was also a great scholar. Go to him quickly and request him to share whatever knowledge he can.” 

The obedient Lakshman rushes to Ravan’s side and whispers in his ears, “Demon king, all your life you have taken not given. Now the noble Ram gives you an opportunity to mend your ways. Share your vast wisdom. Do not let it die with you. For that you will be surely be blessed.” 

Ravan responds by simply turning away. An angry Lakshman goes back to Ram and says: “He is as arrogant as he always was, too proud to share anything.” Ram looks at his brother and asks him softly, “Where did you stand while asking him for knowledge?” “Next to his head so that I hear what he had to say clearly.” Ram smiles, places his bow on the ground and walks to where Ravan lies. Lakshman watches in astonishment as his brother kneels at Ravan’s feet. With palms joined, with extreme humility, Ram says, “Lord of Lanka, you abducted my wife, a terrible crime for which I have been forced to punish you. Now, you are no more my enemy. I see you now as you are known across the world, as the wise son of Rishi Vishrava. I bow to you and request you to share your wisdom with me. Please do that for if you die without doing so, all your wisdom will be lost forever to the world.” 

To Lakshman’s surprise, Ravan opens his eyes and raises his arms to salute Ram, “If only I had more time as your teacher than as your enemy. Standing at my feet as a student should, unlike your rude younger brother, you are a worthy recipient of my knowledge. I have very little time so I cannot share much but let me tell you one important lesson I have learnt in my life. Things that are bad for you seduce you easily; you run towards them impatiently. But things are actually good for you fail to attract you; you shun them creatively, finding powerful excuses to justify your procrastination. That is why I was impatient to abduct Sita but avoided meeting you. This is the wisdom of my life, Ram. My last words. I give it to you.” With these words, Ravan dies. 

There’s similar knowledge transmission after the Mahabharat war is over and the Kauravas are all dead. As the victorious Pandavas are about to assume control of Hastinapur, Krishna advises them to talk to Bhisma, their grand uncle, who lies mortally wounded on the battlefield. As a result of a blessing, death would elude him for some time. “Make him talk until his last breath. Ask him questions. He has a lot to tell,” says Krishna . 

Sure enough, when prompted, the dying Bhisma spends hours discussing various topics: history, geography, politics, economics, management, war, ethics, morality, sex, astronomy, metaphysics and spirituality. Bhisma’s discourse is captured in the Shanti Parva (discussions of peace) and Anushasan Parva (discussions on discipline) that makes up a quarter of the Mahabharata. After listening to their grandsire, the Pandavas have a better understanding of the world, and this makes them better kings. 

Ram asked ravan for his wisdom before his death. The pandavas listened to a lengthy discourse from bhisma as he lay dying on the battlefield. This in the context of organisations, is knowledge management. 

Both these stories draw attention to the value of knowledge.In triumph, it is easy to claim the material possessions of the defeated, but it is not easy to claim their knowledge. Knowledge does not outlive death. 

Every day, an organization churns out vast amounts of knowledge. Every day, people leave organisations, taking their knowledge with them – knowledge which they acquired because they are part of the organisation. They take with them knowledge of clients, markets, business processes, tricks of the trade. These may not be confidential information or patented information, but it is information that gives a competitive edge. 

Long has this knowledge drain been recognised. Over the past decade, a whole new business process known as knowledge management has evolved that seeks to harness, store, transmit this knowledge. Every CEO agrees that it is a valuable business process, that investment in it is critical. Policies have been made, people have been hired and systems have been deployed. 

Unfortunately, for all the initial enthusiasm, implementation has been lacking. Unlike retrieving cash, retrieving knowledge from employees, both current and future, is not easy. Often because they are like Sahadeva. 

Sahadeva was the youngest Pandava and, in the South Indian Mahabharata, he is described as an expert in many predictive sciences such as astrology, palmistry and face reading. But he is cursed: if he ever gave any information voluntarily, his head will split into a thousand pieces. That is why he is silent throughout the epic. He knows every fortune and misfortune that his family will go through, but he can never use his knowledge to forewarn anyone. When Yudhishtira finally learns of his brother’s prowess he is furious. “Why did you not tell me all that you knew?” All he gets in response is Sahadeva’s silence. Most employees in an organisation are Sahadevas. 

Sahadevas are of two types: either they are unwilling to share their knowledge or they don’t have the means to do so. The former category knows that knowledge is power and will not give it away under any circumstances. The latter category is willing to share knowledge but either no one asks them for it or there is no system where they can make it available for others. 

Knowledge Management is leadership driven. Only a Ram, not a Laskhman can do it. He must first believe in it. He must respect the fact that everyone in his organisation, even those who he does not particularly like, are repositories of great wisdom – not only knowledge of things that work but also knowledge of things that do not work. He must make conscious efforts to capture as much of it as possible. 

The simplest method is talking to people, while they are on the job and especially when they are leaving the organisation. An exit interviews must never be a ritual. Neither must it be an exercise to just get the venom out nor an exercise to expose the underbelly that has prompted the resignation. It must be a concerted effort to gather what was the knowledge acquired between joining and leaving the organisation. 

Interviews work if the organisation is small. As the organisation grows in size one needs a more formal system, at the very least a simple archival system managed by a clerk or secretary but on a larger scale, a sophisticated knowledge repository, a kind of electronic cupboard where at least the final version of presentations, documents and spreadsheets of key business events can be stored. 

This sounds very logical but most organisations do not do this. The effort involved is huge and the rewards are neither immediate nor tangible. A brand manager joining a reputed FMCG company, for example, once discovered that they did not have the brand deck (plans, tools, research, messages) of the past five years of a key product. What the organisation did have is the financial numbers – but not a clear history of marketing messages it had put out before the consumer. Previous brand managers had handed over all documents to someone and it was kept somewhere.

But no one knew who that someone was and what that somewhere was. In the absence of a simple archiving system, the new brand manager had to collate all brand related background information from scratch so that he could define the future brand positioning. A fully avoidable waste of energy and resources. 

Every organisation has a very powerful Finance Department that works round the clock to keep an eye on money flowing in and out of the organisation. Internal and external auditors, controllers and accountants keep a hawk’s eye on every bill and purchase order. But not even a fraction of that energy is used by companies to manage their knowledge.This indicates that most organisations do not believe that Lakshmi follows Saraswati: they do not believe that existence of knowledge systems improve efficiency and effectiveness and can provide raw materials to provoke new ideas or prevent old mistakes. Unless a leader believes that Saraswati is critical, he will end up with an organisation of Sahadevas. 

Take a step back. Check if you are creatively shunning this rather tedious matter of knowledge management. If you are, then remember the wise words of Ravan: it must be actually good for you.

WALKING WALKING WALKING

Walking 30 minutes a day cuts the rate of people becoming diabetic by more than half and it cuts the risk of people over 60 becoming diabetic by almost 70 percent. Walking cuts the risk of stroke by more than 25 percent. Walking reduces hypertension. The body has over 100,000 miles of blood vessels. Those blood vessels are more supple and healthier when we walk. Walking cuts the risk of cancer as well as diabetes and stroke. Women who walk have a 20 percent lower likelihood of getting breast cancer and a 31 percent lower risk of getting colon cancer. Women with breast cancer who walk regularly can reduce their recurrence rate and their mortality rate by over 50 percent. The human body works better when we walk. The body resists diseases better when we walk, and the body heals faster when we walk. We don't have to walk a lot. Thirty minutes a day has a huge impact on our health. Men who walk thirty minutes a day have a significantly lower level of prostate cancer. Men who walk regularly have a 60 percent lower risk of colon cancer. For men with prostate cancer, studies have shown that walkers have a 46 percent lower mortality rate. Walking also helps prevent depression, and people who walk regularly are more likely to see improvements in their depression. In one study, people who walked and took medication scored twice as well in 30 days as the women who only took the medication. Another study showed that depressed people who walked regularly had a significantly higher level of not being depressed in a year compared to depressed people who did not walk. The body generates endorphins when we walk. Endorphins help us feel good. Walking strengthens the heart. Walking strengthens bones. Walking improves the circulatory system. Walking generates positive neurochemicals. Healthy eating is important but dieting can trigger negative neurochemicals and can be hard to do. Walking generates positive neurochemicals. People look forward to walking and enjoy walking. And research shows that fit beats fat for many people. Walking half an hour a day has health benefits that exceed the benefits of losing 20 pounds. When we walk every day, our bodies are healthier and stronger. A single 30 minute walk can reduce blood pressure by five points for over 20 hours. Walking reduces the risk of blood clots in your legs. People who walk regularly have much lower risk of deep vein thrombosis. People who walk are less likely to catch colds, and when people get colds, walkers have a 46 percent shorter symptom time from their colds. Walking improves the health of our blood, as well. Walking is a good boost of high density cholesterol and people with high levels of HDL are less likely to have heart attacks and stroke. Walking significantly diminishes the risk of hip fracture and the need for gallstone surgery is 20 to 31 percent lower for walkers. Walking is the right thing to do. The best news is that the 30 minutes doesn't have to be done in one lump of time. Two 15 minute walks achieve the same goals. Three 10 minute walks achieve most of those goals. We can walk 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night and achieve our walking goals. Walking feels good. It helps the body heal. It keeps the body healthy. It improves our biological health, our physical health, our psychosocial health, and helps with our emotional health. Walking can literally add years entire years to your life. Its good to walk.

Sugar Test

Santa Singh enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it.  This he does again and again.  Why?  Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Age & Youth

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in   Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. 

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. 

The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard!  I wonder if there are any more around here?' 

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' 

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. 

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! 

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. 

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! 

Moral of this story.... 

Don't mess with the old .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! 

Difference between Small CA firm and Big Four

Small CA Firm: I will drive the car from point A to point B. Fee: Rs 500

Big 4: We will take charge of front seat, handle the steering, shift gear simultaneously using clutch and accelerator to increase, decrease or control speed and apply breaks wherever necessary. Yes in addition to ensure clearly visibility in darker times we will switch on the head lights and wiper when raining. We will ensure that our all actions complies with local laws such as understanding signal and gesture protocols of traffic cops and seat belt application.

Fees: Rs 5000

Disclaimer: We don't undertake responsibility of you reaching the destination as the same is subject to directions given by you.

Women & Driving

Yesterday I was having some work done at the Maruti dealer. A woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.

We all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is..........

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Women ? The mechanic fainted!! 

A logic that may work

 A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast.  When he goes to the Kirana store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen.  Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he notices that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys groceries, eggs are Rs. 22 a dozen.

 

When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says, "The price has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly". This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day.  He checked around for a better price and all the distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms.  The small egg farms have been driven out of business.  The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to distributors.  With no competition, they can set the price as they see fit. The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery stores. And on and on and on.

 

As the man kept buying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the big egg trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there.   He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling 100,000 dozen eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price of eggs.

 

Then week before Diwali the price of eggs shot up to Rs. 40 a dozen. Again he asked the grocery owner why and was told, "Cakes and baking for the holiday".  The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of baking going on and more eggs will be used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up. Expect the same thing at Christmas and other times when family cooking, baking, etc. happen.

 

This pattern continues until the price of eggs is Rs. 60 a dozen. The man says, "There must be something we can do about the price of eggs".

 

He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decide to stop buying eggs. This didn't work because everyone needed eggs.

 

Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need.  He ate 2 eggs a day. On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy two eggs. Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.

 

The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many eggs in his cooler.  He told the distributor that he didn't need any eggs.

Maybe wouldn't need any all week.

 

The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse.  He told the huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs would not need any for at least two weeks.

 

At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs.   To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they could buy the eggs at a lower price.

 

The distributor said, " I don't have the room for the eggs even if they were free".   The distributor told the grocery store owner that he would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buying again.

 

The grocery store owner said, "I don't have room for more eggs. The customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time.  Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to the original price, the customers would start buying by the dozen again".

 

The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but the egg farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, those chickens just kept on laying.  Finally, the egg farmers lowered the price of their eggs.  But only a few paisa.

 

The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time. They said, "when the price of  eggs gets down to where it was before, we will start buying by the dozen."

 

Slowly the price of eggs started dropping.  The distributors had to slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg farmers.  

 

The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors wouldn't buy at a higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had full warehouses and wouldn't need eggs for quite a while. 

 

And those chickens kept on laying.

 

Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were throwing away eggs they couldn't sell.

 

The distributors started buying again because the eggs were priced to where the  stores could afford to sell them at the lower price.

 

And the customers started buying by the dozen again.

 

Now, transpose this analogy to the gasoline industry.

 

What if everyone only bought Rs 300.00 worth of Petrol each time they pulled to the pump?  The dealer's tanks would stay semi full all the time.  The dealers wouldn't have room for the gas coming from the huge tanks.  The tank farms wouldn't  have room for the petrol coming from the refining plants. And the refining plants wouldn't have room for the oil being off loaded from the huge tankers coming from the oil fiends.

 

Just Rs. 500.00 each time you buy gas. Don't fill up the tank of your car. You may have to stop for gas twice a week, but the price should come down.

 

Think about it.

 Also, don't buy anything else at the fuel station; don't give them any more of your hard earned money than what you spend on gas, until the prices come down..."

 

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH SMART ANSWERS

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

 

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY: You love me...

 

GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??

 

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

 

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??

 

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL: How soon??

 

BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??

 

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

 

MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

 

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

 

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,  Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

 

Girlfriend : "....And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

 

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

 

 Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

 

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have ?"

 

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

 

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman"..

 

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

 

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

 

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

 

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

 

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."