Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Star of David
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One has a cross in front of him,
the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the Star of David turns to the beggar with the cross and says, "Batuk , look who's here to teach the Gujarati Brothers about marketing !"
the other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the Star of David turns to the beggar with the cross and says, "Batuk , look who's here to teach the Gujarati Brothers about marketing !"
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Celebration is...
Celebration means......
Four friends.
Bahar barsaat.
Four glasses of beer.
Celebration means......
Hundred bucks of petrol.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.
Celebration means......
Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a.m.
Celebration means......
3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.
Celebration means......
Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.
Celebration means......
You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,
but to celebrate
all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
Keep in touch with those who care for you........
Four friends.
Bahar barsaat.
Four glasses of beer.
Celebration means......
Hundred bucks of petrol.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.
Celebration means......
Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a.m.
Celebration means......
3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.
Celebration means......
Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.
Celebration means......
You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,
but to celebrate
all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
Keep in touch with those who care for you........
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
No Guts, No Heart, No Spine
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:"You'
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:"You'
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Knowledge
A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried many experts, bt none of them could figure how 2 fix it.
Then they brought an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young.. He carried a large bag of tools with him, & when he arrived, he immediately went 2 work. He inspected engine very carefully.
2 of d ship owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what 2 do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for 10,000 dollars.
"What?!"the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read: Tapping with a hammer: $2 Knowing where 2 tap: $9,998
Moral of story is: Effort is important, but knowing where 2 make an effort makes all the difference
Then they brought an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young.. He carried a large bag of tools with him, & when he arrived, he immediately went 2 work. He inspected engine very carefully.
2 of d ship owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what 2 do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for 10,000 dollars.
"What?!"the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read: Tapping with a hammer: $2 Knowing where 2 tap: $9,998
Moral of story is: Effort is important, but knowing where 2 make an effort makes all the difference
Friday, September 18, 2009
Story of Stanford
A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a home-spun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.
"We want to see the President "the man said softly.
"He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped.
"We'll wait" the lady replied.
"We want to see the President "the man said softly.
"He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped.
"We'll wait" the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president..
"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave" she said to him. The President, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.
The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here.. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."
The president wasn't touched.....He was shocked. "Madam "he said, gruffly, " we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."
"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly” We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes.. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university ? Why don't we just start our own?"
Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name: -StanfordUniversity, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.
Most of the time we judge people by their outer appearance, which can be misleading. And in this impression, we tend to treat people badly by thinking they can do nothing for us. Thus we tend to lose our potential good friends, employees or customers.
Remember in our Life, we seldom get people with whom we want to share & grow our thought process. But because of our inner EGO we miss them forever.
It is you who have to decide with whom you are getting associated in day to day life.
It is you who have to decide with whom you are getting associated in day to day life.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
High Telephone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. On a Saturday morning after breakfast.
Dad (Family head) : People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone, I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.
Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.
Now everyone is looking at the Maid.
Maid: So what is the problem? You all use Your work telephones and same with me.Monday, September 14, 2009
SIgns of 21st Century
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less !!!
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less !!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
How guys select the girl
How guys select the girl they want to marry
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The
first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
(scroll down for the answer)
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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :)
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The
first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
(scroll down for the answer)
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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho...
Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho...
Office me khush raho, ghar mein khush raho...
Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho...
Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke hi khush raho...
Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho...
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...
Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho...
Jise dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...
Jise paa nahi sakte uski yaad mein hi khush raho
Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho...
Bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meethi yaadein hai, unme hi khush raho...
aane wale pal ka pata nahi... sapno mein hi khush raho...
Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein hi khush raho
Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho
Office me khush raho, ghar mein khush raho...
Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho...
Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke hi khush raho...
Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho...
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...
Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho...
Jise dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...
Jise paa nahi sakte uski yaad mein hi khush raho
Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho...
Bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meethi yaadein hai, unme hi khush raho...
aane wale pal ka pata nahi... sapno mein hi khush raho...
Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein hi khush raho
Zindagi hai choti, har pal mein khush raho
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