Real Robbers

During a robbery in Guangzhou , China , the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you." Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!" This is called "Being Professional”Focus only on what you are trained to do! When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" This is called "Experience.”Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called "Swim with the tide.”Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage! The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." This is called "Killing Boredom.”Personal Happiness is more important than your job. The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!" This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!" The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! So who are the real robbers here?

ATTITUDE DECIDES ALTITUDES...

1. SOLDIER: SIR WE ARE SURROUNDED FROM ALL SIDES BY ENEMIES ,MAJOR: EXCELLENT! WE CAN ATTACK IN ANY DIRECTION.

2. EVERY ONE KNOWS ABOUT ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WHO INVENTED THE TELEPHONE, BUT HE NEVER MADE A CALL TO HIS FAMILY. BECAUSE, HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER WERE DEAF. THAT’S LIFE “LIVE FOR OTHERS “. 3. THE WORST IN LIFE IS "ATTACHMENT " IT HURTS WHEN YOU LOSE IT. THE BEST THING IN LIFE IS " LONELINESS " BECAUSE IT TEACHES YOU EVERYTHING AND, WHEN YOU LOSE IT, YOU GET EVERYTHING.

4. LIFE IS NOT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ACT TRUE TO YOUR FACE ........IT’S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO REMAIN TRUE BEHIND YOUR BACK.
5. IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE..A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN.......LIFE BEGINS.GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM WITHIN.
6. IT’S BETTER TO LOSE YOUR EGO TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. THAN TO LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE....... BECAUSE OF EGO.

7. A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T SHINE BY JUST SHAKING HANDS AT THE BEST OF TIMES. BUT IT BLOSSOMS BY HOLDING FIRMLY IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS.

8. HEATED GOLD BECOMES ORNAMENTS. BEATED COPPER BECOMES WIRES.DEPLETED STONE BECOMES STATUE. SO, THE MORE PAIN YOU GET IN YOUR LIFE THE MORE VALUABLE YOU BECOME.

9. WHEN YOU TRUST SOMEONE TRUST HIM COMPLETELY WITHOUT ANY DOUBT... AT THE END YOU WOULD GET ONE OF THE TWO:EITHER A LESSON FOR YOUR LIFE OR A VERY GOOD PERSON .

Pun-Intented

1.       Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 

2.       I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 

3.       I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down 

4.       I used to be a banker but I lost interest . 

5.       I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something. 

6.       Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. 

8.       I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy. 

9.       I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

10.   Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.

12 Essential Rules to Live More Like a Zen Monk

“Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine.” - Shunryu Suzuki

1. Do one thing at a time. This rule (and some of the others that follow) will be familiar to long-time Zen Habits readers. It’s part of my philosophy, and it’s also a part of the life of a Zen monk: single-task, don’t multi-task. When you’re pouring water, just pour water. When you’re eating, just eat. When you’re bathing, just bathe. Don’t try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing. Zen proverb: “When walking, walk. When eating, eat.”
2. Do it slowly and deliberately. You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time, and move slowly. Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.
3. Do it completely. Put your mind completely on the task. Don’t move on to the next task until you’re finished. If, for some reason, you have no choice but to move on to something else, try to at least put away the unfinished task and clean up after yourself. If you prepare a sandwich, don’t start eating it until you’ve put away the stuff you used to prepare it, wiped down the counter, and washed the dishes used for preparation. Then you’re done with that task, and can focus more completely on the next task.
4. Do less. A Zen monk doesn’t lead a lazy life: he wakes early and has a day filled with work. However, he doesn’t have an unending task list either — there are certain things he’s going to do today, and no more. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do.
5. Put space between things. Related to the “Do less” rule, but it’s a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don’t schedule things close together — instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.
6. Develop rituals. Zen monks have rituals for many things they do, from eating to cleaning to meditation. Ritual gives something a sense of importance — if it’s important enough to have a ritual, it’s important enough to be given your entire attention, and to be done slowly and correctly. You don’t have to learn the Zen monk rituals — you can create your own, for the preparation of food, for eating, for cleaning, for what you do before you start your work, for what you do when you wake up and before you go to bed, for what you do just before exercise. Anything you want, really.
7. Designate time for certain things. There are certain times in the day of a Zen monk designated for certain activities. A time for for bathing, a time for work, a time for cleaning, a time for eating. This ensures that those things get done regularly. You can designate time for your own activities, whether that be work or cleaning or exercise or quiet contemplation. If it’s important enough to do regularly, consider designating a time for it.
8. Devote time to sitting. In the life of a Zen monk, sitting meditation (zazen) is one of the most important parts of his day. Each day, there is time designated just for sitting. This meditation is really practice for learning to be present. You can devote time for sitting meditation, or do what I do: I use running as a way to practice being in the moment. You could use any activity in the same way, as long as you do it regularly and practice being present.
9. Smile and serve others. Zen monks spend part of their day in service to others, whether that be other monks in the monastery or people on the outside world. It teaches them humility, and ensures that their lives are not just selfish, but devoted to others. If you’re a parent, it’s likely you already spend at least some time in service to others in your household, and non-parents may already do this too. Similarly, smiling and being kind to others can be a great way to improve the lives of those around you. Also consider volunteering for charity work.
10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation. Aside from the zazen mentioned above, cooking and cleaning are two of the most exalted parts of a Zen monk’s day. They are both great ways to practice mindfulness, and can be great rituals performed each day. If cooking and cleaning seem like boring chores to you, try doing them as a form of meditation. Put your entire mind into those tasks, concentrate, and do them slowly and completely. It could change your entire day (as well as leave you with a cleaner house).
11. Think about what is necessary. There is little in a Zen monk’s life that isn’t necessary. He doesn’t have a closet full of shoes, or the latest in trendy clothes. He doesn’t have a refrigerator and cabinets full of junk food. He doesn’t have the latest gadgets, cars, televisions, or iPod. He has basic clothing, basic shelter, basic utensils, basic tools, and the most basic food (they eat simple, vegetarian meals consisting usually of rice, miso soup, vegetables, and pickled vegetables). Now, I’m not saying you should live exactly like a Zen monk — I certainly don’t. But it does serve as a reminder that there is much in our lives that aren’t necessary, and it can be useful to give some thought about what we really need, and whether it is important to have all the stuff we have that’s not necessary.
12. Live simply. The corollary of Rule 11 is that if something isn’t necessary, you can probably live without it. And so to live simply is to rid your life of as many of the unnecessary and unessential things as you can, to make room for the essential. Now, what is essential will be different to each person. For me, my family, my writing, my running and my reading are essential. To others, yoga and spending time with close friends might be essential. For others it will be nursing and volunteering and going to church and collecting comic books. There is no law saying what should be essential for you — but you should consider what is most important to your life, and make room for that by eliminating the other less essential things in your life.

“Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” - Wu Li

Hyderabadi Humor

Read aloud with a nasal Hyderabadi accent:

Me at coffee shop in Hydrabad:
Waiter: Kya hona?
Me: Latte?
W: Hau late.. kya hona bolo?
Me: Mocha?
W: Mauka sab ko hona life me.... ab kya hona bolo....
Me: Cappuccino
W: Kaiko dusro ko cuppa chinoo? andar bahot cuppa hai...

Why men are seldom depressed

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt..

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 

One mood all the  time. 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own  jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend. 

Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original colour..

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck. 

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. 

101 ways To produce smiles

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.

02. Hold a door open for a stranger.

03. Invite someone to lunch.

04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.

05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.

06. Bring cookies to work.

07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.

08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.

09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.

10. Call your parents/sons/daughters.

11. Let someone know you miss them.

12. Treat someone to a movie.

13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.

14. Visit a retirement center.

15. Take a child to the zoo.

16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.

17. Surprise someone with a small gift.

18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.

19. Write a letter to a distant relative.

20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.

21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.

22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.

23. Send someone flowers to where they work.

24. Invite a friend to tea.

25. Recommend a good book to someone.

26. Donate clothing to a charity.

27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.

28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.

29. Give blood.

30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's

really busy or just needs a break.

31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.

32. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.

33. Help someone with a heavy load.

34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.

35. Give your place in line at the grocery store

to someone who has only a few items.

36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.

37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.

38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.

39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.

40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.

41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.

42. Forgive a loan.

43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.

44. Tell someone you believe in them.

45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.

46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.

47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.

48. Ask someone if they need you to pick up

anything while you're out shopping.

49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.

50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.

51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.

52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.

53. Compliment someone on their cooking and

politely ask for a second helping.

54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.

55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.

56. Give children's clothes to another family

when your kids outgrow them.

57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden

to the whole neighborhood.

58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.

59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.

60. Invite someone to go bowling.

61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days,

and surprise them with a cake.

62. Ask someone about their children.

63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.

64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.

65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.

66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.

67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.

68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.

69. Ask an older person for their advice.

70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.

71. Tell a child you're proud of them.

72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.

73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.

74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.

75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.

76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.

77. Email a friend some information about

a topic they are especially interested in.

78. Give someone a homemade gift.

79. Write a poem for someone.

80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department.

81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.

82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.

83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.

84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.

85. Personally welcome a new employee at work

and offer to take them out for lunch.

86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up

because they are important to you.

87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.

88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.

89. Forgive someone when they apologize.

90. Wave to someone looking for a parking space when

you're about to leave a shopping center.

91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.

92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of

ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.

93. Do a household chore that is usually done

by someone else in the family.

94. Be especially happy for someone when

they tell you their good news.

95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.

96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.

97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.

98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.

99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.

100. Take a child to a ballgame

When you give...

Once Krishna and Arjuna were walking towards a village. Arjuna was pestering Krishna, asking him why Karna should be considered a role model for all Danas (donations) and not himself. Krishna, wanting to teach him a lesson snapped his fingers. The mountains beside the path they were walking on turned into gold. Krishna said "Arjuna, distribute these two mountains of gold among the villagers, but you must donate every last bit of gold". Arjuna went into the village, and proclaimed he was going to donate gold to every villager, and asked them to gather near the mountain. The villagers sang his praises and Arjuna walked towards the mountain with a huffed up chest. For two days and two continuous nights Arjuna shovelled gold from the mountain and donated to each villager. The mountains did not diminish in their slightest.

Most villagers came back and stood in queue within minutes. After a while, Arjuna, started feeling exhausted, but not ready to let go of his ego just yet, told Krishna he couldn't go on any longer without rest. 

Krishna called Karna. "You must donate every last bit of this mountain, Karna" he told him. Karna called two villagers. "You see those two mountains?" Karna asked, "those two mountains of gold are yours to do with as you please" he said,  and walked away.

Arjuna sat dumbfounded. Why hadn't this thought occurred to him? Krishna smiled mischievously and told him "Arjuna, subconsciously,  you yourself were attracted to the gold, you regretfully gave it away to each villager, giving them what you thought was a generous amount. Thus the size of your donation to each villager depended only on your imagination. Karna holds no such reservations. Look at him walking away after giving away a fortune, he doesn't expect people to sing his praises, he doesn't even care if people talk good or bad about him behind his back. That is the sign of a man already on the path of enlightenment".

Conversation between Vivekanand & Ramkrishna

Vivekanand:- I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic.
Ramkrishna :- Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you free.

Vivekanand:- Why has life become complicated now? 
Ramkrishna :-Stop analyzing life.. It makes it complicated. Just live it. 

Vivekanand:- Why are we then constantly unhappy?
Ramkrishna :-Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.


Vivekanand:-Why do good people always suffer?


Ramkrishna:-Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer.
With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter. 

Vivekanand:-You mean to say such experience is useful? 
Ramkrishna :- Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.


Vivekanand:-Because of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading…
Ramkrishna:- If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides the way.


Vivekanand:-Does failure hurt more than moving in the right direction?Ramkrishna :- Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. 


Vivekanand:-In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
Ramkrishna :- Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing. 

Vivekanand:- What surprises you about people?
Ramkrishna :- When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me?” 


Vivekanand:- How can I get the best out of life?
Ramkrishna :- Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.


Vivekanand:- One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
Ramkrishna :- There are no unanswered prayers. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. 

10 BEST LIFE LESSONS FROM EINSTEIN

1. Follow Your Curiosity :

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless :
“It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present :
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

4. The Imagination is Powerful :
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

5. Make Mistakes :
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

6. Live in the Moment :
“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”

7. Create Value :
“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

8. Don’t be repetitive :
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

9. Knowledge Comes From Experience :
“Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”

10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better :
“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”