Presentation Skills.....

Women Friends chatting in office

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he

lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

-

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work. 

Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!!

Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is!!!

Recognition...

There was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed to complete his collection.
 
One day, he found out that his neighbor had the particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered his neighbor until he sold it to him.

A month later, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: 
 
- Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down. 
 
Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation. The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached the horse and said:

- Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
 
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came back and said:
 
Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up. Let's go!  
One, two, three...
 
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:

- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
 
After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:

- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! Horse slowly responded..

That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on....

Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
 
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting:
 
-        It's a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let's kill the pig!
 
Points for reflection: 

This often happens in most of organizations’. Sometimes nobody truly knows who actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.

Deadlock Explained...

From To Message Boss Secretary For a week we will go abroad,so make arrangement. Secretary Husband For a week my boss and I willbe going abroad, you look after yourself. Husband Secret lover My wife is going abroad fora week, so let’s spend the week together. Secret lover Small boy (whom she is giving private tuition) I have work for a week, so you need not come for class. Small boy Grand-father Grandpa, for a week I don’t have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together. Grandpa ( TheBoss:) ) Secretary This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting. Secretary Husband This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip. Husband Secret lover We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip. Secret lover Small boy This week we will have classes usual. Small boy Grandfather Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company. Grandfather Secretary Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement. This is called a Deadlock

Husband & Wife Saga

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my
heart & I got a Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
The Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but outside,
laughing at you

AND THE SAGA CONTINUES...

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC No matter however Loud he is
in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor...

"Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and
whichever way she turns, he goes."

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one
every day.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!

Two teachings

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:- 

1. To plant your idea in someone's head

2. To plant someone's money in your own pocket

- He who succeeds in the former - we call teacher;

- He who succeeds with the latter - we call boss.

- The one who succeeds in both - we call wife;

- The one who fails in both - we call husband.

Father of the bride

*My nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper.

Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion. But after a particularly long pause, he explained,"I'm really sorry, folks. I can't seem to make out what I've written down."

Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"*

Choose Life

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words :'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Perception...an excellent example

THE SITUATION 

In Washington , DC , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.  During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.  After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing.  He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule. 

About 4 minutes later: 

 

The violinist received his first dollar.  A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 

 

At 6 minutes: 

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 

At 10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly.  The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time.  This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:

The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while.  About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.

After 1 hour: 

He finished playing and silence took over.  No one noticed and no one applauded.  There was no recognition at all. 

 No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world.  He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.  Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story.  Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. 

This experiment raised several questions: 

     *In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? 

     *If so, do we stop to appreciate it? 

     *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: 

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . 

How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

SCATTERED PAPER

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested.
Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't harm anyone..'

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: 'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.'

The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them.'

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix  it. "If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything"

'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Live without you...

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me ............. talking to the wine."..