Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
The Green Thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right, that generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But they didn't have the green thing back in that customer's day.
In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
But she was right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.
Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right; they didn't have the green thing back in her day. Back then, they had one radio in the house - maybe a Victoria .
In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for them. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for them. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; they didn't have the green thing back then.
They drank from a glass made of glass when they were thirsty instead of using a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
They drank from a glass made of glass when they were thirsty instead of using a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But they didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids walked or rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one or two electrical outlets in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful the old folks were just because they didn't have the green thing back then?
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids walked or rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one or two electrical outlets in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful the old folks were just because they didn't have the green thing back then?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Future...
Pakistani Ambassador to the UN just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he met President Obama.
They shook hands and walked together in the long verandah when suddenly the Pakistani said, 'You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.'
President Obama says 'Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.'
The Pakistani whispers, 'My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and even Indians but never any Pakistani, Afghani or Arabs. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand nor do I about why there aren't any Arabs, Pakistanis, an Afghanis in the Star Trek show.'
President Obama laughs and leans toward the Pakistani, and whispers in his ear, 'Because... the show is all about the future.'
They shook hands and walked together in the long verandah when suddenly the Pakistani said, 'You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.'
President Obama says 'Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.'
The Pakistani whispers, 'My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and even Indians but never any Pakistani, Afghani or Arabs. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand nor do I about why there aren't any Arabs, Pakistanis, an Afghanis in the Star Trek show.'
President Obama laughs and leans toward the Pakistani, and whispers in his ear, 'Because... the show is all about the future.'
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
why women walk behind men
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before our involvement in the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul, and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land Mines."
She recently returned to Kabul, and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land Mines."
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Husband Store….....
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where any woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!
You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Honeymoon for Kate & William
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Saturday, May 14, 2011
:-) Names
Boy was introducing, "Hi, my father's name is "Laughing" and my mother's name is "Smiling".
Girl was surprised, "Really? You must be Kidding!"
Boy defended, "No, no, that's my brother's name. I am 'JOKING'."
Girl was surprised, "Really? You must be Kidding!"
Boy defended, "No, no, that's my brother's name. I am 'JOKING'."
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Rajnikant Jokes - II
When Rajnikant was studyin in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough notebook....&
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia
==============================
When Rajnikant was a Student……..
Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!
==============================
Rajnikant started a college. All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is “Rajnikant’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.
==============================
Rajnikant purchased a road roller…
To Iron his Clothes……………………………
==============================
THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!
Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…
..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well
==============================
If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts! :D
==============================
Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"
He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"
==============================
One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….
==============================
Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…
==============================
Rajni can walk faster than light….
“Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”.
==============================
Law of Conservation of Rajni
All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
==============================
Once a photo of Rajnikant was givenfor Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…
We got two copies of the Xerox machine.
==============================
Once upon a time Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth
Today that powder is known as….“AMBUJA CEMENT”
Now they call it as .............Wikipedia
==============================
When Rajnikant was a Student……..
Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!
==============================
Rajnikant started a college. All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is “Rajnikant’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.
==============================
Rajnikant purchased a road roller…
To Iron his Clothes……………………………
==============================
THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!
Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…
..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well
==============================
If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts! :D
==============================
Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"
He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"
==============================
One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….
==============================
Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…
==============================
Rajni can walk faster than light….
“Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”.
==============================
Law of Conservation of Rajni
All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
==============================
Once a photo of Rajnikant was givenfor Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…
We got two copies of the Xerox machine.
==============================
Once upon a time Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth
Today that powder is known as….“AMBUJA CEMENT”
Monday, May 9, 2011
Oh great Lion...
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion."
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion."
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Missing you...
Husband was throwing knives on his wife’s Photo.
But none of the knives were hitting the target.
Just then she happens to call him on his mobile, asking him what he was doing.
He replied, “I am missing you”!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Rajnikant Jokes
The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually rajnikanth''s signature.
=================================
Rajnikanth once wrote his autobiography... Today that book is known as Guiness Book of World records..
=====================================
Once while playing Rajnikanth said " STATUE " to a person......... Now that person is known as "STATUE OF LIBERTY"....
=============================================
** Breaking news **
Rajnikanth......got shot yesterday . . today is the bullet''s funeral...!!
================================
Did U ever wonder...??
Wat does GOD exclaim when he is shocked?
.
'Oh my RAJNIKANTH!!!!!'
=====================================
Government pays TAX to Rajnikant for working in India...........
=====================================
Awesum fact.... Rajnikant has counted infinity twice.!
================================
Rajnikant creats his new mail i.d. : Gmail@rajnikant.com
================================
USA POWER vs INDIAN POWER
USA- 10000 nuclear weapons, 600000 army, 10000 tanks, 12000 air force, 3000 ships
INDIA- RAJNIKANTH
============================
Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back... That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs...
====================================
A child went 2 Kashmir & startd playing by making small mountains from ice.
Today those mountains are called "Himalyas" and that child name is RAJNIKANTH
===================
FaceBooK founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalized with serious injury..
Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook.
===================
Why does rajnikanth wear sunglasses?
To protect the sun from his eyes!
===============================
A 22 whealer huge truck once met with an accident against RAJINIKANTH
Since then, it is called TATA NANO.
========================
Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up.
He is pushing the earth down.
========================
Basketball player to RAJNIKANT: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hours ... can u ???
Rajnikanth: yena rascala, how do u think the earth spins?? mind it...
===============================================
BREAKING NEWS..... FACEBOOK HAS NOW JOINED ""RAJNIKANTH""
====================================
Once when rajnikant was playing cricket ,he played a defensive shot...
And now that ball is called..." PLUTO "
===========================================
RAJNIKANT enters BIGG BOSS 4... next day ...
RAJNIKANT chahte hai ki BIGG BOSS confession room me aayein!!!
=================================
Once a guy winked at Rajnikanth's wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.
We now know him as Baba Ramdev..
=============================
Rajnikanth and a kid once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his Underwear over his pants..
Today people know that kid by the name SUPERMAN.!!
=================================
Rajnikanth once wrote his autobiography... Today that book is known as Guiness Book of World records..
=====================================
Once while playing Rajnikanth said " STATUE " to a person......... Now that person is known as "STATUE OF LIBERTY"....
=============================================
** Breaking news **
Rajnikanth......got shot yesterday . . today is the bullet''s funeral...!!
================================
Did U ever wonder...??
Wat does GOD exclaim when he is shocked?
.
'Oh my RAJNIKANTH!!!!!'
=====================================
Government pays TAX to Rajnikant for working in India...........
=====================================
Awesum fact.... Rajnikant has counted infinity twice.!
================================
Rajnikant creats his new mail i.d. : Gmail@rajnikant.com
================================
USA POWER vs INDIAN POWER
USA- 10000 nuclear weapons, 600000 army, 10000 tanks, 12000 air force, 3000 ships
INDIA- RAJNIKANTH
============================
Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back... That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs...
====================================
A child went 2 Kashmir & startd playing by making small mountains from ice.
Today those mountains are called "Himalyas" and that child name is RAJNIKANTH
===================
FaceBooK founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalized with serious injury..
Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook.
===================
Why does rajnikanth wear sunglasses?
To protect the sun from his eyes!
===============================
A 22 whealer huge truck once met with an accident against RAJINIKANTH
Since then, it is called TATA NANO.
========================
Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up.
He is pushing the earth down.
========================
Basketball player to RAJNIKANT: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hours ... can u ???
Rajnikanth: yena rascala, how do u think the earth spins?? mind it...
===============================================
BREAKING NEWS..... FACEBOOK HAS NOW JOINED ""RAJNIKANTH""
====================================
Once when rajnikant was playing cricket ,he played a defensive shot...
And now that ball is called..." PLUTO "
===========================================
RAJNIKANT enters BIGG BOSS 4... next day ...
RAJNIKANT chahte hai ki BIGG BOSS confession room me aayein!!!
=================================
Once a guy winked at Rajnikanth's wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.
We now know him as Baba Ramdev..
=============================
Rajnikanth and a kid once had arm wrestled and the loser had to wear his Underwear over his pants..
Today people know that kid by the name SUPERMAN.!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Golden Mantras from Chanakya
"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first."
"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your Status ???
"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."
"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your Status ???
"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."
"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
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