Thursday, October 17, 2013

Whacky Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 

Life Insurance:
 A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 


Nurse:
 A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 


Lecture:
 An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" 


Conference:
 The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Compromise:
 The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 

Dictionary:
 A place where success comes before work. 

Conference Room: 
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 

Father:
 A banker provided by nature.

Boss:
 Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician:
 One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 

Doctor:
 A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:
 Books, which people praise, but do not read. 

Smile:
 A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
 A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
 The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
 A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 


Committee:
 Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 

Experience:
 The name men give to their mistakes. 

Atom Bomb:
 An invention to end all inventions. 

Philosopher:
 A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

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